Articles by Christopher Gage

The Boris Conspiracy

t’s a crying shame the pubs are closed here in Britain. One of my favorite pastimes is whiling away hours listening to the cider-sodden theories of affable, and perhaps mental, people. Those who clot outside the pub as the morning breaks aren’t usual, or boring. You wouldn’t call them ordinary. Less discerning newspapers call them […]

The Tolerant Left Gets a Viral Surprise

t appears those who peacock their open-mindedness and compassion also wish death on those with whom they disagree. British Prime Minister Boris Johnson spent a few challenging days in intensive care while his unborn baby lays in the womb. His chances of seeing that child were only 50-50 on Sunday. The “tolerant” among us hoped […]

Petit Tyranny

t’s perhaps surprising to learn just how many of one’s fellow citizens would thrive in modern-day Belarus or latter-day East Germany. The Great British lockdown this week has given succor to those inclined to the petit tyrannies common to countries of our curious pity. Facebook groups have sprung up, leaping with the caps-locked indignations of […]

The Cost of Lies and Political Folly

ell, at least we all now know that eating bats is not the delightful culinary jamboree we had assumed. What about you? Not even remotely curious to clench your teeth into a little pangolin? The poor creature might resemble a poodle wrapped in tree bark, but its scales possess “healing powers,” if you believe that […]

Friendship in the Aftermath of Reality

I’ve worn my thumbs down to spiky bone. To be a good sport, over the last week I have given traumatized progressives exactly what they want. I’ve dutifully succumbed to the commands of the mad, the demands of the jilted. “If you voted for Boris Johnson, delete me as a friend!” Because of X and […]

Britain’s ‘Red Tory’ Future

It appears that social media is not the real world. Indeed, contrary to the predictions I read there, the most seismic election in British history was not even close. Boris Johnson on Friday morning returned as Great Britain’s prime minister atop a landslide of voters whom the progressive Left abandoned long ago. The results are […]

Britain’s Great Emotional Divide

The most edifying feature of our reluctant election here in the United Kingdom is the welcome tempering of that modern scourge—the three-month Christmas. There is no time for gaudy festive jingles or silly hats. Instead, we British have engorged on an all-you-can-eat buffet of political crazies, weirdos, strangelings, and madpeople. In an orgy so lurid, […]

The P.C. Election

Just one week has passed during the most substantial election perhaps ever. And, already a confirmed fatality. Not a real one. Nor a significant one. But, a fatality nonetheless. That fatality is me. Apparently. The cause of my untimely death? A meme. A fairly innocuous one at that. Yes, modern life is digital. Unreal, in […]

The People vs. Parliament

In a world in which men crown themselves champions in women’s sports, an exciting cultural mutation churns. Turkeys, long considered to harbor a grave and considerate suspicion of the festive season, last week voted for Christmas. A modish progression. After twice blocking an election, and refusing to help pass Boris Johnson’s Brexit deal, Labour last […]

The People vs. Parliament

In a world in which men crown themselves champions in women’s sports, an exciting cultural mutation churns. Turkeys, long considered to harbor a grave and considerate suspicion of the festive season, last week voted for Christmas. A modish progression.  After twice blocking an election, and refusing to help pass Boris Johnson’s Brexit deal, Labour last […]

15 Minutes of History on a Once Glorious Isle

Boris Johnson made history last week. That history didn’t last long—15 minutes to be precise. After taking over as prime minister just 93 days ago, Boris, like President Trump, was written off by our betters as an idiot, a chancer—he even has a predilection for dewy, tautly-compressed women. The horror!  Like Trump, Boris came through. […]

Suicide in the West

It is almost a moral imperative to read any book Salem-ed by the types that shamble across the pages and pixels of The Guardian. You just have to. French novelist Michel Houellebecq, l’enfant terrible, returns with a treatise which The Guardian describes as the last cry of the pitiful white male.   He has form. Houellebecq’s […]

Brexit, Again and Again and Again

Nothing says “End Capitalism” quite like queuing up for lunch at McDonald’s. Then again, nothing makes much sense in the formerly serious country of Great Britain. Those revolutionaries, exercising suspiciously lax working hours, moments before implored all with chants of “Beef equals grief!” Which rhymes, and is therefore, profound. London this week crumpled into a […]

Brexit Agonistes

At risk of sounding like a tiresome Twitter progressive whose made-up child readily espouses the grandest of witticisms, I offer this: My nephew, all of 8 years old, has joined the ranks of contrarians, skeptics, ruffians, and rogues. Or, perhaps, he just doesn’t buy whatever Greta Thunberg and her shameless handlers are peddling. Upon seeing […]

The Baba Anoush

A couple who named their child after a bougie Middle-eastern dip favored among Great Britain’s woke classes have decided not to reveal the gender of their child. Chanti Annette Humphrey and Jake England-Johns have even kept secret for one-year the sex of 14-month-old Anoush from the knowledge of their doubtlessly proud parents. Yes, the Baba […]

Whose Democracy Is It Anyway?

Certain images possess an unshakeable power. They crystallize a moment in history with greater strength than the millions of words which follow. “Napalm girl” running for her life down a dirt road in Vietnam. The eerie calm of New York City firemen traipsing upward toward death in the Twin Towers on September 11. Another picture, […]