Articles by Joe Long

The Mad Diversity Queen Under Siege

fter a two-year investigation that Yale University officials derided as “hasty,” the Justice Department has declared the venerable school to be in violation of federal civil rights law. Yale’s color-conscious rejection of many highly-qualified Asian-American and white students is the problem. The policy inflicts “undue and unlawful penalties on racially-disfavored applicants,” as Assistant Attorney General […]

The Ramparts of 2020

he soldier in gray was 16. Cornelius Long crouched behind the ramparts of Battery Wagner in Charleston Harbor, that dark night. He and his comrades of a Georgia infantry regiment from Savannah had been cross-trained with artillery to assist in coastal defense; then they’d been moved around and eventually hustled out to Battery Wagner on […]

What the Ruling Class Needs to Understand

ver the past month, we’ve had a national experience that has been part medical crisis, part unintentional social experiment. It’s been a bit surreal for almost everyone, I think. Things that don’t make sense invite speculation. Some conspiracy-minded folk have attributed the Wuhan virus to nefarious forces, such as a Chinese economic weapon unleashed to […]

Purging Confederate Symbolism from the Marine Corps Undermines Warrior Brotherhood

n an order that also extended “parental leave” to “same-sex couples” in the U.S. Marine Corps, Commandant General David Berger has mandated that “Confederate-related paraphernalia” be removed from all Marines bases. It’s a bad decision. Imagine the United Kingdom purging Scottish symbols from the British army. The Scottish secession movement, after all, has a lot […]

On the Death of a Villain

“Oh, no, now there’ll be a war!” Wails the plaintive Lefty throng Who conveniently ignore That there’s been one, all along— Jihadis, at war with us By their own eager admission— Our policies should cover this Pre-existing condition. Our responses will reveal Who’s Chamberlain-ish, or Rooseveltive: Barry tried the art of the deal. Trump has […]

Peace(makers) on Earth

During the Christmas-Hanukkah overlap of 2019, the annual festive season for both Christians and Jews was marred by violent reminders that in a hatred-infested world, our fears as well as our joys may intersect. A church shooting in Texas and a machete attack in New York bloodied our respective sacred celebrations. In a variety of […]

Mary, Didja Know?

Mary, didja know How your journey, would be politicized? Mary, did you know How dumb it would get—or have you been surprised? Didja know SJW’s would howl outrageously, At any public ref’rence,  to the Lord’s nativity . . . ? Mary, didja know How your foes would attempt to hijack the stable? How they’d reframe […]

Time in a Bubble

With apologies to the late, great Jim Croce. If I could save Time from its bubble, The first change that I’d like to make— Is, rather than appease Trite left-wing pieties, Give some coverage to news that’s not fake . . .  If I could make somebody famous, And assert that his tale must be […]

Jeffrey Epstein and ‘Fake Noose’

The mysterious strangulation was a staple plot device in the good old days of pulp fiction. Many a swashbuckling swordsman, two-fisted detective, or occult investigator in the “Weird Tales” era encountered, narrowly avoided, or avenged such incidents. Victims in such stories were frequently found with eyes bulging and a “frozen expression of horror,” though one […]

Halloween Costume Blues

That magical time of year is here, when the Left goes out of its way to be the enemy of fun. Hmmm…we’d better narrow that down. That isn’t really a seasonal thing. We refer specifically to the night of Hallowe’en, the evening before the Feast of All Souls. This masquerade event, which has grown to […]

Of NeverChumps and Magaphobes

Two suggested additions to our political taxonomy. We’re familiar with the “NeverTrumper.” He’s a public person on the Right whose principles are ever-so-refined. Somehow, though, in the refining process, those principles finally coalesced around blind resentment of a single individual. The NeverTrumper is a curiosity of the current moment in time. One day he’ll end […]

Monsters Among Us

“My name is Julie Shackleford. My family have been Monster Hunters for over a hundred years. My job is to keep the sweet little idiots who don’t believe in monsters safe.” “And I’m okay with that.” So begins the newest entry in the best-selling “Monster Hunter International” book series, another lead-slinging, bureaucrat-foiling, monster-slaying romp. Culturally, […]


It seems the Dalia Lama Has chosen to calm a Storm of speculation, With new information. Seem that a burning question Of lamaic succession, Had the world in a whirl: “Might the next be a girl?” “Or does Tibet, like Rome, “Claim a Y chromosome “Is the prerequisite “To be spiritually fit?” Though they ardently […]

What’s Your Democratic Candidate Identity?

National politics is always an adventure. And as every role-playing game hobbyist knows, to keep an adventure going, you’re going to need hordes of “NPCs.”  If you’re not familiar with the world’s nerdiest hobby, a “non-player character” is anybody the gamemaster invented to further the plot, or for the entertainment of the players. The smith […]

Are We Overdoing Father’s Day?

Like most American households, mine carries on all of the old-time Father’s Day traditions. Last weekend, we put up the Father’s Day tree. We’ve bought the fireworks, inflated the outdoor decorations; and we’ve laid out the decorative “Father’s Day Village” with the electric racetrack which runs between the sporting goods and the hardware stores. We […]