“I am the very model of a modern SJW,
“I’m really quite solicitous of all the things that trouble you—
“Against microaggressions I am vigilant and resolute,
“Progressive regulations I continuously institute!”
(“Progressive regulations he continuously institutes…etc.)
“Conspicuously beribboned, I can benefit from the respect
“Traditionally extended by the demographic I reject,
“The pickup-driving rifle-toting Sunday-School-attending sort
“Identified as extremists in all the FBI reports!”
(“Identified as extremists in all the…etc.”)
“For my own lack of melanin, though, I myself cannot be blamed—
“My legacy shall be overseeing Army bases all renamed,
“And I shall labor mightily, and verily shall bust my a–
“To come up with a PT test that men can fail and women pass!”
(“To come up with . . . etc.”)
“Under my leadership we can transition to a fighting force
“Vibrantly diverse, though it be incapable of winning wars—
“Thus privilege shall perish, and from the remaining rubble you
“Can thank the very model of a Modern SJW!”