Joe Long

About Joe Long

Joe Long lives in Cayce, South Carolina. He holds a master's degree in history from Georgia College and State University. He has a very patient wife, five homeschooled children, and a job.

Trick or Mistreating

Tell me, have you picked a costume for your campus Trick-or-Treating? Nowadays, it bears repeating, you had best take special care. The occasion may be festive, but the “crybullies” are restive, And they’re utterly obsessed; witch-hunts might happen anywhere. So, no sarongs, no kimonos; no sombreros—those are no-no’s. In fact, if you’d avoid

By | 2017-10-27T14:50:34+00:00 October 27th, 2017|

Uranium One: A Tale from Ancient Times

In the reign of Barack the Anointed, Him whom they called “the Transparent One,” His SecState got a half-a-mil kickback For the sale of Uranium One. In the context of a “Russia reset” (Which was over 'ere it had begun) It appears He-Who-Led-From-Behind didn’t mind Her “baksheesh” for Uranium One. “What thou dost,

By | 2017-10-23T14:54:26+00:00 October 23rd, 2017|

She Didn’t Know What She Signed Up For

She didn’t know what she signed up for,She does not understand it at all—Why not use, for political ambush,A Gold Star family’s condolence call?She didn’t know what she signed up for,When she launched her preemptive attack—She’d assumed that the rules of engagementSpecified that no one could fight back.She didn’t know what she signed up

By | 2017-10-20T13:25:12+00:00 October 20th, 2017|

On the Occasion of the International Day of the Girl

The action-movie heroine,(Stance dramatic, costume tight)Defeats predatory villainsWith her righteous wrath and might.They’re heavier by thirty pounds,Most of it’s muscle mass—She lines ‘em up and knocks ‘em down.(An expert choreographs.)The lady never loses—That would be no fun to see;The audience revels in herInvincibility.She needs no rescuer.She gives no damsel’s distress call—A suggestion that she’s

By | 2017-10-11T15:27:16+00:00 October 11th, 2017|

Tears of a Clown

Jimmy Kimmel, you dissimul- -late so poorly, that it’s crim’nal - Cloaking activism in A disguise supremely thin. “A sounding brass, a tinkling cymbal” Singing from the lib’ral hymnal - Weeping your tears crocodilian - Can that truly be fulfillin’? Are your viewers’ lives so grim, they’ll Applaud those tears, Mr. Kimmel? Is that what

By | 2017-10-03T14:08:09+00:00 October 3rd, 2017|

Primary Things

A Southern summer fades to Fall, And ‘Bama’s voters made a call Which wasn’t Strange. We might say Moore: It’s no longer safe to ignore The voice of ordinary folks (The butt of all those late-night jokes.) Yes, we like our Bibles, and guns; Ladylike daughters, manly sons; “Faith, hope and love” (which

By | 2017-09-28T08:48:03+00:00 September 28th, 2017|

Ready for the Rapture?

In case you haven't heard, Saturday (according to a newly released YouTube video) is supposed to be the date of "the Rapture." Resident Poet, Joe Long, has a few words of caution . . .   'Tis the night ere the Rapture, says some guy named Meade—It's numerologically guaranteed!But me in my cap,

By | 2017-09-25T12:33:24+00:00 September 22nd, 2017|

Trumping “Emmy-nence”

No aristocratic titles Are attached to presidents… But after that awards show? Well, call Trump “His Emmy-nence”. He’s their unifying figure, And the sum of all their fears; He’s the drabness of their comedy. The punchline to their tears. Though not quite every moment Was about him, I suppose; I hear some “Handmaidens”

By | 2017-09-21T19:08:07+00:00 September 19th, 2017|