‘Remain’ Wins! ‘Leave’ Loses! And Other Upside-Down Tales

You would be forgiven for thinking that handily winning the vote share over your rivals meant you had won an election.

But in the Current Year, such logic is a bunk currency—the winning ticket of the Zimbabwe National Lottery.

As predicted, Nigel Farage’s Brexit Party pillaged last weekend’s European Parliament elections. Just six weeks old, and with the fervency of more than 120,000 members, the Brexit Party scooped 31 percent of the British vote.

That translates to winning nine of the United Kingdom’s 12 regions. And 29 seats of 72 in the new European Parliament.

Farage’s nearest rivals, the pro-EU Liberal Democrats, who are neither liberal nor democratic, settled on just under 20 percent. Britain’s two main parties, Labour and the Conservatives, scraped up just under a quarter of the vote combined.

The Brexit Party did even better in the Brexit-voting Labour heartlands, consigning once dominant Labour to also-rans among the swathes most committed to leaving the EU—swathes where they used to weigh, not count, the Labour vote.

The Brexit Party topped the Labour-voting Northeast, Northwest, East of England, Wales, West Midlands, East Midlands, Yorkshire and Humber, and cleaned through the Conservative Southwest and Southeast.

Upon winning, Farage insisted that Great Britain leave the EU on October 31—the new deadline—or he and his Brexit Party bombardiers would upend both Labour and the Conservatives at the next general election. The polls suggest his threat is not empty.

But none of that matters. Some mental yoga from Britain’s progressive wing decided that this de-facto second referendum meant the people actually voted to reverse Brexit and remain ensconced within their besotted EU.

Honestly. One columnist, Polly Toynbee, took to The Guardian to announce that Remain had indeed won. And that the proles should down their pitchforks, pull up a seat, and plough into some sashimi.

By Toynbee’s lights, if one counted all the votes which were not for the Brexit Party, and conveniently disregarded Tory votes, that actually means that Remain parties won the election. Or something.

It’s like taking all the points garnered by teams not called the New England Patriots, combining those, and then claiming the Patriots, therefore, didn’t deserve their place in the Super Bowl, let alone win the damn thing.

It makes sense. No? It does to those suffering with a turbulence of mind upon which vulturous therapists engorge their wallets.

Since 2016, progressives on both sides of the Atlantic have tussled with reality, denying with vim and vigor what actually happened. Brexit won an “impossible” vote. Hillary Clinton lost the “most winnable” election.

It has been three years. The day after the Brexit vote, we learned of a phenomenon known as “Bregret.” Millions, they insisted, had changed their minds. They were just joking!

How those self-convinced of this folly canvassed the views of millions within 24 or so hours of the result is beyond rational comprehension. Perhaps because they made it up.

Then they asked us to vote again. We just did. Brexit won.

It remains the wrong answer. Now, they insist the only way to break this “impasse” is through another vote.

At least they’ve stopped calling it a second referendum. That’s too undemocratic. Now, their latest wheeze is a “confirmatory vote.”

Because they’d definitely win this time. And they believe that. Those bludgeoned by Brexit believe all this would go away if only they had another chance. Their world would simmer neatly. The proles would assume their place.

Doubtless, Americans are familiar with this lamentable circus.

Ever since President Trump’s election, the forces of tolerance have wailed and whined and warped reality.

Robert Mueller’s statement this week is a case in point. Mueller said he couldn’t definitively prove Donald Trump did not commit a crime related to the fatuous Russia inquiry.

Like a weary adult beset upon all sides by inconsolable infants, Mueller felt forced to mollify the mental children with a soothing statement.

“We found no evidence that the moon is made of cheese,” Mueller might has well have said. “But, that doesn’t mean we can definitively confirm the moon is not made of cheese.”

Upon hearing this, progressives now believe the moon is, in fact, made of cheese. They were right all along.

For democracy to function properly, the losing side must accept it has lost.

Half of the political sphere is now motored via adolescent rage. Like spoiled children to whom “no” has never been uttered, they are convinced they are always right.

And they’re also encouraged by the beleaguered forces who know, deep down, that the game is up.

By insisting that President Trump was in fact a Russian agent; by insisting that Brexit voters had little grasp of what they were voting for, the jilted have unleashed a measureless contempt against half of the people. All to bolster their own privilege atop a game they rigged long ago.

What follows is not pretty. But I know the score-line. It’s two-nil. Best of seven?

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