Pigskin Doggerel

The (Football) Star-Mangled Banner
(An Anthem With Offensive Lines)

Oh, say, have you seen how your ratings have dropped?
Seems your viewers don’t find grownup tantrums too charming.
(A decline, as you know, never caused by T-Bow,
Whose religious displays you found strange and alarming.)
It’s confusing to you,
But believe me, it’s true,
That contempt for your nation
Can hurt revenue;
And the Star-Spangled Banner, a gap has revealed –
‘Tween the poor, in the stands, and the rich on the field.

You’ve had scandals before, ultimately ignored—
Your game was an escape from societal schism.
Patriots deflated balls? That was nothing at all—
But when overpaid stars deflate patriotism—
The fans no longer care
How much cheerleaders bare;
You can’t scold them for that,
For they’re simply not there.
And the Star-Spangled Banner forlornly rings out
O’er your stadiums as the spoiled athletes pout.

O, thus be it ever, when free men shall stand—
But the self-enslaved kneel, in grievance’s constrainment—
And instead of football, I watch your ratings fall—
Please forgive me, but to me, that’s REAL entertainment.
If at last you despair,
Or are forced off the air,
And the madness has passed,
Football will still be there,
And “The Star-Spangled Banner,” respected by all,
Sound o’er fields where grown men, are still paid…to play ball.


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7 responses to “Pigskin Doggerel”

  1. “Seems your viewers don’t find grownup tantrums too charming.”

    A silent protest that disrupts nothing is a tantrum? Man, you guys really are snowflakes.

    • Oh man, the snowflakes are on the football field. Multi-millionaires claiming that they are being mistreated is just laughable. And that goes along with their supporters who know as little as they do.

  2. I watch football, TV and movies for pleasure. Watching multi-millionaire players insult the flag and country friends of mine died serving is not a pleasure. Watching ESPN, once a pasttime, and seeing overpaid ideological talking heads politicize everything about football with economically and historically ignorant screeds is not a pleasure. Watching CNN, once an important news source to me, when it turned into all left, all anti-Trump, no news but fake news all the time is no longer a pleasure. Paying high prices to watch films by movie stars who have contempt for my nation, my values, my Constitutional rights is not a pleasure.

    I do not watch football games that begin with players making a statement of their hatred of America and its flag.
    I no longer watch ESPN and CNN
    Instead of watching a movie a week, as I did for much of my life, I see maybe one a quarter – carefully selected to be interesting but to not include Actors, Directors or Producers prone to anti-American or anti-Trump screeds.
    I am gearing up to cut the cord and go away from cable so I do not have my fees diverted to support leftist propaganda organs like CNN, MSNBC, or PBS.

    The principle is straightforward. Do not put a dollar in the pocket of a person who hates my nation, my flag and the values I live and have fought for.