I have a suggestion for Jack Smith, one of Joe Biden’s official Rottweilers in charge of taking out Donald Trump. Throw the book at him. I mean the whole book.
So far, Smith has taken a sort of piecemeal approach to suffocating the former president. His opening gambit was a 37-count felony indictment over Trump’s possession and handling of classified documents at his Mar-a-Lago estate in Palm Beach. A couple of days ago, he added three more counts and yet another defendant, Trump employee Carlos De Oliveira, to the list.
But I say: enough with half measures. The obscenely bloated, contradictory, and embarrassing compendium of the laws that supposedly govern this country is known as the U.S. Code. Among other things, it is a monument to the malevolent frivolousness of the people we elect to govern us. The Greek lawgiver Solon believed that a good society should have few laws but that those laws ought to be strictly and impartially enforced.
Our anti-Solons believe in the indiscriminate, rabbit-like multiplication of laws, the more the merrier, in order to increase the potential for obfuscation and partisan deployment. Currently, the U.S. Code contains thousands upon thousands of laws regarding everything from agriculture and the armed forces to telecommunications, space programs, and voting.
Who knows how many of the provisions contained in that Leviathan’s Bible Trump may have violated? For example, chapter 15 of Title 48 (“Territories and Insular Possessions”) concerns “Conveyance Of Submerged Lands To Territories.” Section §1707 of that chapter has this to say about “Payment of rents, royalties, and fees to local government”:
“On and after the date of enactment of this Act, all rents, royalties, or fees from leases, permits, or use rights, issued prior to such date of enactment by the United States with respect to the land conveyed by this Act, or by the amendment made by this Act, and rights of action for damages for trespass occupancies of such lands shall accrue and belong to the appropriate local government under whose jurisdiction the land is located.”
Are we sure that Donald Trump, well known as a New York real estate developer, has strictly abided by all the provisions of the law? Has he snagged any rents, royalties, or fees from any lands covered by this act? If so, has he handed the pelf over to the “appropriate local government under whose jurisdiction the land is located?” How do you know?
In this country, it is a hallowed principle that a person is innocent until indicted. You hear people say that all the time. They say it in jest, or half in jest. But they know that it is true. But they overcome the resulting cognitive dissonance by pretending that it is only half true, that really, “deep down,” we are still a “nation of laws, not men” and that the FBI, for example, actually acts in the service of the public, not as the semi-secret police force of the Democratic party. If they’re on TV they say it with a straight face.
Among the most amusing video clips I have seen recently was Jack Smith’s first announcement of his indictment of Trump. “We have one set of laws in this country,” Smith said, face straight as a meter stick, “and they apply to everyone.” I’m not sure when I have laughed so hard.
Hunter Biden was unavailable for comment. So was his dear old Dad, “the Big Guy.” So, for that matter, was Sam Bankman-Fried, swindler and mega donor to the Democrats, who just saw a campaign finance violation against him dropped because, like Hunter, he is a member of a protected class. Did I mention that Bankman-Fried was the number 2 top donor (after George Soros) to the Dems, having contributed some $70 million to its coffers over 18 months?
Anyway, I have two suggestions for Jack Smith. One is to broaden his indictment against Trump to include all the provisions contained in the U.S. Code. Again: this is no time for half measures. If we are really going to achieve full banana republic status before the next election, it is essential that the chief political rival of the Democrats be publicly reviled and jailed. Trump is sure to have violated some provisions of the U.S. Code. As Harvey Silverglate pointed out in his book Three Felonies a Day: How the Feds Target the Innocent, we all have. Let’s mobilize more lawyers to comb through those thousands of pages and cook up some original indictments.
My second suggestion may seem more modest, but connoisseurs of weaponizing the law for partisan ends will understand that it is a robust insurance policy, if I may employ a phrase made famous by disgraced FBI love bird Peter Strzok. Comprehensive though the U.S. Code is, with its 54 Titles, and thousands of individual clauses, there is at present no single clause dealing specifically with Donald Trump. That is an important oversight that needs to be corrected.
Some Roman emperors practiced what came to be called “damnatio memoriae,” erasing from the public record all trace of people they disliked (Augustus did it with Mark Antony, for example, Caracalla did it with his brother Geta). But that was an ex-post facto expedient. How much more effective to deal in advance with someone who poses such a serious threat to the Regime as Donald Trump does. Edward I gloried in the nickname “Malleus Scotorum,” “Hammer of the Scots.” Jack Smith ought to take a page from Eddie’s book and put it about that he is “Malleus Donaldi,” “Hammer of the Donald.” With a little effort he ought to be able to convince the powers that be to add a few pages to the U.S. Code specifically proscribing Donald Trump. The future of Our Democracy™ (not to mention Our Rule of Law™) demands it.