Tucker Carlson and the Silk Purse

For devotees of straight talk, Tucker Carlson’s firing from Fox News is bad news. Who else will tell it as it is?

Was Carlson over the top sometimes? Yes, of course—“of course” because he was a talk show host. He was not pretending to be a scholar or sage. He knew what he was doing. That humility (and attention to detail) should remind us of what Conrad Hilton once said to William F. Buckley on “Firing Line” in response to a comment that went something like: “Say something important.” Hilton pondered deeply (so it seemed; he was a good actor) and then intoned: “Always put the shower curtain inside the tub.” Like Carlson, Hilton knew who he was, and he wasn’t going to pretend he was something he wasn’t.

Donald Trump is a problem—and not just because he’s a jerk: in a free country, people can be whatever they want to be (so long as it’s within the law).

Trump’s a problem because his nomination by the Republican Party may well ensure the election of Joe Biden and his horribly destructive band of woke liars (e.g., Secretary of State Antony Blinken and Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas) and all the destructive woke policies they will continue to foist on the American republic. Probably any Republican could beat Biden except Trump. Pogo could certainly beat Biden easily. So could Lucy. Charlie Brown could whip his asseverations.

Carlson is very popular, as popular with his audience as Trump is with his. A two-and-a-half minute video Carlson put out after Fox “parted ways” was viewed by 57 million people (!) in less than 24 hours.

At the moment, Trump has no one to run with him as the vice presidential candidate. And really, who—what normal political candidate, who could bring something to the ticket—would want to run with him? What to do?

Carlson should announce that he is running for vice president, making a silk purse out of a Fox’s ear, and force Trump to pick him. Then Carlson should accept, but only if Trump agrees to the following six conditions:

1) Trump will never again mention the 2020 election. That election was yesterday. Elections are won on tomorrow. Many people don’t believe that the election was stolen the way Trump says it was—even if a case could be made (it can) that the election was “stolen” because of the suppression by the woke media of relevant information (see, for example, Secretary of State Antony Blinken’s nefarious, and now exposed, disinformation-plot-quashing coverage of the Hunter Biden laptop story—which plot has not yet been covered by the New York Times!).

Trump will never mention January 6 events and his role in them or attempt to exculpate himself. That’s not to imply Trump is guilty as charged by the corporate leftist media. It is simply a recognition that Trump cannot win that argument. But also, and more importantly, that argument is also about yesterday. Again, elections are won by talking about tomorrow.

3) Trump will never mention Mike Pence, his former vice president, whom he now must loathe. And he must never mention his attorney general, Bill Barr, whom he also probably loathes. Both of them are yesterday.

4) Trump will never mention the “perfect phone call” with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy. Just to begin with, describing it (or any phone call) as “perfect” is off-putting. What is a “perfect” phone call, anyway? Just the initial description rankles. Stop it.

5) Trump will never mention Stormy Daniels or Michael Avenatti. They are unattractive people (however sorry you may feel for a girl so down on her luck she has to become a pole dancer. Remember, God can love pole dancers, too—even if He doesn’t like to watch their acts).

6) Trump will never mention his back taxes. They—like most everything else the hyperbiased media throw at him—are so yesterday. And he should release whatever tax returns his opponent releases, not because it’s intrinsically a good idea to release them, but because not releasing them will distract the voters from understanding the real issues.

Trump might not like those conditions, but he may be savvy enough to realize that without more discipline, he has a very good chance of losing. 

Fact is, many—most?—of the “illegal” 2020 voting rule changes will still be in place in 2024. Trump needs to attract all the people he got in 2016 in Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin and didn’t attract in 2020 as well as additional voters if he expects to win next time.

He should focus on the obvious constituents, such as suburban housewives. They don’t want their daughters having to share locker rooms with boys; they do want all their children to learn true American history, not the bogus “1619 Project” history foisted on us by the New York Times.

Carlson is far more articulate than Trump is on those topics and many others besides. He was asked recently what should be at the top of every person’s list of things to do each day. Carlson’s reply: tell every person you love that you love them, because affirming things out loud makes them real. “Words are important,” Carlson said. “In the beginning was the Word.” Just so. Donald Trump, take notice.

It’s true Carlson has no executive experience, but his first job was at the Heritage Foundation, and there is no doubt its legendary founder and long-time chief executive, Ed Feulner, would give Carlson all the assistance he needs.

This is Trump’s last stand. He has seen the deep state in operation, working against him and against the American people. He should talk about that, sticking close to what the American people want and what he knows. In short, he should put the shower curtain inside the tub.

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About Daniel Oliver

Daniel Oliver is chairman of the board of the Education and Research Institute and a director of the Pacific Research Institute for Public Policy in San Francisco. In addition to serving as chairman of the Federal Trade Commission under President Reagan, he was executive editor and subsequently chairman of the board of William F. Buckley Jr.’s National Review. Email him at Daniel.Oliver@TheCandidAmerican.com.

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