Halloween and Election Day: Days for the Undying Dead

Some very scary ideas never seem to die. There is a great Geico Insurance commercial playing off horror film tropes, in which several teenagers hide in a shed behind some chainsaws rather than go to a waiting automobile to escape a serial killer. But unlike this commercial, our political tropes are not so funny. The political ideology of socialism has killed and maimed hundreds of millions, haunting us for the last 100 years. Yet political leaders just continue to change the name—national socialism, communism, progressivism—and try again. 

The basic reason authoritarians get away with this is because some academic minds never seem to tire of the idea of trying to make everyone equal. It is not enough to have equal opportunity; they want equal results. The attempts to implement this insanity and the failures are well documented—empirically, historically, and existentially. Nevertheless, new dissertations clog the diploma mills every year as young minds, well-shaped by a politically progressive public school system, attempt to square the circle. 

During the recent funeral ceremonies for Queen Elizabeth II, several seemingly well-educated commentators seemed to offer their support for the idea of the British monarchy, with its stability and traditions, as a better alternative to our messy democracy. Never mind that America isn’t supposed to be a democracy but, rather, a representative republic. It’s still too messy. But Lo! Within just a few weeks that same hallowed British system has collapsed yet again. Who is messy now? 

Similarly, a number of financial commentators have extolled the efficiencies of the “Chinese system.” They really know how to get things done, don’t ya know. They don’t waste energy on political games. A crafty dictator like Xi is better suited to a complex world of shifting priorities. The yuan will soon replace the dollar as the standard for the world. China is already more powerful than the United States, both economically and militarily. etc. etc. Except for the fact that it’s not true, it makes for compelling copy if you are the sort who longs for such certainty. 

As to our own problems, we are stuck with a sort of National Bank (aka Federal Reserve) warned against repeatedly by many of the founders—one that determines the national debt and our mandated currency as a political matter totally apart from the electoral process. This cannot be ignored. Inflation, we are told, like fear, is a figment of our imaginations. But the Chinese currency is a political fabrication inside of a conundrum inside of a lie. How much a yuan is worth has nothing to do with any semblance of market forces, but everything to do with how much prime American farmland costs. 

The inherent humor to be found in a president ordering a cut in gas production and then wondering why gas prices rise, all while blaming it on the greed of oil companies—a scenario previously demonstrated beyond doubt just a half dozen years ago by another president—is difficult to ignore. 

It will be a sardonic laugh we can all have as we cool our heels and wonder why the diesel-powered trucks are not delivering the goods this winter. The scare of global warming, the supposed cause of this specific governmental overreach, will do us little good come January, but the frightening cure will likely have destroyed the most innovative economy in history—and any potential for a practical solution. 

And on Tuesday, November 8, be assured that the huge imbalance of Democratic votes that appear magically when and wherever an establishment hack is in danger of losing his or her sinecure, is nothing to be concerned about. The election is not “stolen.” It is only borrowed. The software in those election machines was not tampered with, it was corrected. The names of those voters who are deceased but voted nonetheless was just a clerical error, and those who voted twice did so only by accident. Anyway, it didn’t happen, but believe us now, and it will never happen again. 

How then should we describe the psychosis that gripped our nation and the world over the past two years? Wearing masks was suddenly not just a Halloween trick or treat. There are countless books about mass murderers, but the stories are usually so much the same. Nice boy. Quiet. A loner. But this one is unique. You can expect more books, but now it will be the victim’s fault—some people just didn’t Fauci fast enough! You know the litany about lockdowns, school closings, rising crime, ineffective vaccines, all of it misinformation! 

But wait! What about all of those people who are still wearing masks? The overwhelming negative evidence about the social, psychological, and physical effects of wearing masks is now over two years old. And then there is the total criminal stupidity of giving children COVID vaccinations, and boosters—where does this actually end? 

Speaking of children’s treats, isn’t it special that the tall muscular girl in your daughter’s gym class gets to shower with the rest of the team? You had brothers, so it was nothing new for you, but wow! You must know, don’t you, that he’s the one—I mean she’s the one—who got the team into the State championships! What can be wrong with that? Well, of course, your daughter didn’t quite reach the mark this year.  But we all have to make a few sacrifices, don’t we?

About Vincent McCaffrey

Vincent McCaffrey is a novelist and bookseller. Visit his website at www.vincentmccaffrey.com.

Photo: iStock/Getty Images

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