Sir Joe Biden:
’Tis But a Scratch

Joe Biden is the Black Knight in the classic Monty Python scene, guarding a forest passage King Arthur seeks to cross.

Arthur asks the knight to join him in his cause, but the knight refuses, and then refuses Arthur permission to pass through. The knight announces that he moves for no man. “So be it,” replies Arthur, and the fighting commences. After a number of thrusts and parries, and groans and moans, Arthur cuts off the knight’s left arm. 

“Now stand aside, worthy adversary,” says Arthur. 

The knight replies: “’Tis but a scratch.” 

Arthur, incredulous: “A scratch? Your arm’s off!” 

“No, it isn’t,” replies the knight. 

Reality is not his thing. 

Nor Biden’s. After 20 years of fighting in Afghanistan, Biden withdrew U.S. forces precipitously last year in hopes of reaching a wholly artificial deadline of September 11, which would have made for a nice photo-op.

The withdrawal was a chaotic disaster. It was Saigon revisited. Afghans held onto departing planes until they fell to their deaths. In an attack on the airport, 13 U.S. servicemen were killed, 18 were wounded, and 170 Afghans were killed and scores more injured. Unbelievable carnage. Friends and allies of the United States were abandoned in the country, as well as tens of billions of dollars in weapons and military hardware. The world took note and took the measure of the man in the Oval Office. In an unprecedented action, the British Parliament rebuked Biden.

Biden’s reply to all of the criticism? “’Tis but a scratch.”

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In the “Holy Grail” scene, the fighting continues. “C’mon, you pansy!” the Black Knight taunts. They fight more and Arthur hacks off the Black Knight’s other arm.

“Victory is mine,” says Arthur. He kneels down to say a prayer of thanks, whereupon the Black Knight kicks him. Arthur says the Black Knight can’t continue fighting because he has no arms left. “Those are flesh wounds,” replies the knight. He continues kicking Arthur, while yelling, “Chicken! Chicken!”

In the United States, meanwhile, it’s not just the price of chicken that has gone up. The price of gas has doubled since Biden took office, reminding everyone of hapless Jimmy Carter, “President Malaise.” Biden has attempted to blame inflation on Russian President Vladimir Putin, but the public isn’t buying. And why should we? Prices started rising long before Putin invaded Ukraine. Even Jerome Powell, Biden’s recently reappointed chairman of the Federal Reserve, agreed with the public: “Inflation was high before—certainly before the war in Ukraine broke out.”

The public understands that part of Biden’s woke agenda is to eliminate the use of fossil fuels. He canceled drilling leases and limited domestic production. He has imposed regulations that impose big costs, which lead to higher prices. And his anti-energy rhetoric discourages investment. Actions have consequences, and the public understands that. Biden is senile and may not.

Sky-high gas prices? Those are “flesh wounds.”

Arthur whacks the Black Knight, cutting off one of his legs. 

“Right,” says the knight, “I’ll do you for that.” 

Arthur replies, “What are you going to do? Bleed on me?”

Out-of-control crime is bleeding all over America. Murder rates and unsolved homicide rates soar. Soros-backed prosecutors refuse to prosecute criminals. Even “moderate” Attorney General Merrick Garland refuses to enforce the law that forbids picketing outside the homes of Supreme Court justices—though he seemed willing to sic the feds on parents attending school board meetings (since they might be terrorists). Meanwhile illegal aliens swarm across the U.S. southern border, bringing disease, crime, and fentanyl—lots of fentanyl—with them. Biden’s dereliction of duty, to enforce the laws faithfully, is startling. If the Democratic Party loses the Hispanic vote, it will be closing time for them. The Republican Party will be invincible.

But the Black Knight says: “I’m invincible.” To which Arthur replies, “You’re a looney!”

Black Knight: “A black knight always triumphs.”

Joe Biden may think that, but Jamie Dimon, CEO of JP Morgan, isn’t so sure.

“Geopolitical tension, high inflation, waning consumer confidence, the uncertainty about how high rates have to go and the never-before-seen quantitative tightening and their effects on global liquidity . . . are very likely to have negative consequences on the global economy sometime down the road,” Dimon warned recently.

Arthur whacks the Black Knight again, cutting off his remaining limb. The black knight replies, “All right, we’ll call it a draw.”

That’s not what the polls say. In one recent poll, 64 percent of Democrats said they prefer someone other than Biden to be the Democratic candidate for president in 2024, citing his advanced age and middling performance. Seventy-seven percent said the country is headed in the wrong direction. This is the reality of current politics.

Arthur moves on. The Black Knight accuses him of running away. “Come back here and take what’s coming to you.” But Arthur is already gone.

The situation for the Democrats is bad. Really bad.

 But for looney Joe Biden, ’tis but a scratch.

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About Daniel Oliver

Daniel Oliver is chairman of the board of the Education and Research Institute and a director of the Pacific Research Institute for Public Policy in San Francisco. In addition to serving as chairman of the Federal Trade Commission under President Reagan, he was executive editor and subsequently chairman of the board of William F. Buckley Jr.’s National Review. Email him at Daniel.Oliver@TheCandidAmerican.com.

Photo: JONATHAN ERNST/AFP via Getty Images