Aging Hollywood has-been Bette Midler issued the following lunatic tweet just before Christmas and managed to insult 1.79 million West Virginians:
What #JoeManchin, who represents a population smaller than Brooklyn, has done to the rest of America, who wants to move forward, not backward, like his state, is horrible. He sold us out. He wants us all to be just like his state, West Virginia. Poor, illiterate and strung out.
— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) December 20, 2021
West Virginia’s Republican governor, Jim Justice, lived up to his surname last week by hoisting up his canine, Babydog, turning her bass ackwards amidst his live State-of-the-State speech and declared, “Babydog tells Bette Midler and all those out there, kiss her hiney.”
Being a resident of West Virginia and one of those whom she insulted, I would add a rejoinder in the classic “Weekend Update”-style: Bette, you ignorant sow!
For a loudmouth whose breakout schtick was as the singing personification of a chubby clitoris in the vaginal double-entendre “Clams On the Half Shell Revue,” why don’t you stick to being a 76-year-old has-been and save your grossly hypocritical statements for other showbiz burnouts and starry-eyed-but-brain-dead-collectivists.
“Backward”? You hypocrite!
“Strung out”? Hypocrite, again!
You were quoted as saying of your own cocaine habit, “I didn’t like my nose dripping in my soup.” That might translate to something like: “I snorted enough coke to create the greatest high since the invention of the barometer.”
(When it snowed in Los Angeles back in 1989, there were rumors that Midler hurt her back trying to snort her driveway . . . )
“Poor”? You near-sighted four-flusher! Take a drive through California’s Central Valley, where poverty is as bad or worse than what you might expect to find in rural Mississippi. Better yet, check the 22.5 percent poverty rate of Pacific Islanders in your native Hawaii.
You may not notice it, in your ignorant bliss, but it is not often that a conservative Republican governor would go out of his way in the defense of a Democratic senator who also happens to be one of the 1.79 million folks you so callously derided. But Joe Manchin is a native West Virginian and so is Jim Justice. It’s that Montani Semper Liberi thing. Brush up on your Latin and maybe you can figure it out.
Unlike you, a blatherskite who shoots off her very, very, big mouth and then sheepishly apologizes when confronted, as any craven coward would, Joe Manchin has guts. And so does Jim Justice.
Balls, we call them here in West-By-God-Virginia. Balls the size of church bells!
Manchin has single-handedly taken the socialist suicide plan of Build Back Bolshevik and shoved it so far up “Brandon’s” derriere that Anthony Fauci, a hand-picked team of proctologists, and the whole gang from Roto-Rooter couldn’t recover it.
In one move, “Balls” Manchin has defanged Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, obliterated Nancy Pelosi’s socialist schemes, and left Chuck Schumer talking to himself as he uses both hands to find those half-lens reading glasses annoyingly perched on the end of his nose.
And Jim Justice did Manchin one better with a show-and-tell of how West Virginians feel about anuses, whether of the canine or the Hollywood liberal variety.