Do You Have What It Takes to be Woke?

Are you racist? Are you sure? White progressives say you are. If you’ve never had a racist thought in your life or maybe you are 4-years-old and don’t know what that word means. But you happen to be white, so you’d better check yourself. The only acceptable white person is one who is calling out the racism of the entire white race, even the racism in themselves and routinely apologizing for the way God made them. If you are not calling it out, you are part of the problem. 

Want to be a woke progressive leftist? There are some very strict rules you must follow. Here are some of them.

You must be a feminist, but you must also believe in the right of biological men who think they are women to compete against biological women and shower with them. You must believe men can get pregnant. You must believe in abortion up until moments after birth, but you must also be for black lives (unless they are babies). You must #believeallwomen unless the woman is accusing a Democrat.

You must be appalled at a private conversation between two men, one a famous billionaire, talking about women throwing themselves at him, yet you must approve of a former president having an affair in the Oval Office with a young intern because he kept abortion legal.

You must ignore your presidential candidate’s obvious mental decline but insist the current president is “stupid, crazy, and dangerous.” You must talk down the best economy in our nation in decades, and you must cheer a Coronavirus that has brought our economy to its knees.

You must believe wholeheartedly, unquestioningly, in global warming . . . er . . . climate change, since you must use arctic ice as a talking point, but that ice has actually been growing steadily. You must refer to the diminishing polar bear population in one area of the great white north, but you must also ignore that polar bears have increased in population overall.

You must ignore the hundreds of thousands of birds killed every year by the enormous, problematic windmills, and you must also pretend electric cars don’t use petroleum and produce a serious toxic waste problem.

You must side with governors who dictate mask mandates and not question their authority to do so, even when they keep you on mandatory lockdown without explanation for months. 

You must buy that the sitting president is an irredeemable bigot, but you must close your ears when you hear his opponent say, “you ain’t black” if you don’t vote for him. You must ignore violent ongoing riots that are destroying black businesses and refer to them as “peaceful protests” even while fires are raging behind you.

You must believe gun control would disarm criminals, and you must also insist on defunding the police. Make sure that you make fun of the Missouri couple who used their Second Amendment rights to protect their lives and their home when protestors broke down a gate and unlawfully entered their neighborhood for extra leftist points.

You are required to hate police and demand they be defunded. You must loot and riot when protesting the George Floyd death because reparations tie into this somehow, but make sure to ignore black-on-black crime, which has skyrocketed this year.

You must ignore anti-semitic remarks from members of “the squad,” and you must embrace the Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions movement against Israel.

You must look down upon America’s elegant First Lady, who is native to Slovenia and earned U.S. citizenship in 2006, speaks five languages fluently, and gets ignored by all the top magazines, and you must adore Michelle Obama for her crappy lunch program and buy all the dozens of magazines which featured her prominently for eight years and continue to sing her praises.

You must trash the Electoral College and pretend that New York City and Los Angeles voters know what is best for Yukon, Oklahoma, or Massillon, Ohio.

You are required to ignore President Trump’s First Step Act for prison reform, as well as the fact that Biden actually wrote the much-maligned 1994 crime bill.

You must ignore the fact that major cities with the most crime and the most hardship for minorities have been run by Democrats for decades and in some cases a century.

You must not read about or give any kudos to President Trump’s accomplishments in office, including establishing the Space Force, signing a federal animal cruelty bill, giving Flint, Michigan $100 million to fix their water issues, issuing executive orders to permit buying drugs from Canada to make drug prices go down, ensuring that veterans have adequate mental health care when transitioning to civilian life, increasing funding for historically black colleges, spearheading a pre-pandemic historic employment rate, providing grants to organizers supporting human trafficking victims, withdrawing the U.S. from the job-killing Trans-Pacific Partnership, designating opportunity zones in distressed communities, stopping hospitals from overcharging medicare patients, and signing Right to Try—just to name a few of the 125 listed accomplishments of the Trump Administration in less than four years.

Above all, you must vote for the party of hypocrisy and continue to ignore their many faults.

So, you tell me: are you woke enough to be a progressive leftist?

About Angela Kelley

Angela Kelley is the Director of Operations for American Majority. She has an extensive professional background in higher education and program management. She loves politics and genealogy and is a member of the Daughters of the American Revolution.

Photo: iStock/Getty Images

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