Charge of the Lightfoot Brigade!

Ms. Hizzoner Lori Lightfoot, moonbat mayor of Chicago, continues on the megalomaniacal but slapstick path first blazed by the fictional Dr. Miguelito Loveless.

In her latest effort at legerdemain, she appealed to Chicagoans in West End wards to fill out their 2020 census questionnaires because Chicago needs more resources!    

This, of course, is the same Lori Lightfoot who, when offered assistance by POTUS because Chicago is burning and its citizens are being gunned down in the streets, insisted that Chicago needed no resources!

Then, in convoluted logic, she gathered the media to explain that as a child she loved “Batman” on TV. Whenever Gotham City was in trouble, the mayor would shine a searchlight with a bat on it into the night skies. At this point, the media anticipated the roar of the Batmobile. Instead, she reached into her podium, donned a slime green cowboy hat, and introduced . . . the Census Cowboy

Huh? What are you going to do, Mayor Lightfoot, shine a searchlight with an equine derriere?  While that might be an appropriate symbol of your reign, it might not be an effective means of communication.

At this point, a horse-borne cowboy appropriately dressed in what appeared to be a bulletproof vest trotted out with a black and green 2020 census flag. (Note that Census Cowboy appears to be a descendent of the Dread Head Cowboy, an all-purpose BLM protest symbol).   

He was “appropriately dressed” because in those wards, inside of 10 minutes any actual cowboy would be missing, the saddle and the bridle would have vanished, the horseshoes would be stripped, and the mare would be up on blocks in front of a barbeque joint.

So why did Mayor Lightfoot go from a Batmobile equipped with loudspeakers to a cowboy meant to tweak the neighborhoods? Given Chicago politics, when gathering Census forms (or mail-in ballots) a horse won’t leave tire tracks while canvassing cemeteries. 

One could easily visualize Lightfoot reaching into her rumpled blazer for three steel balls to massage in her palm, as she attempts the geometric logic of connecting her census cavalry to the Democratic Green New Deal: A horse doesn’t need gasoline and eats only grass (actual grass), and this will stop global warming because it will stop pollution. If you don’t count the pungent trail of horse dung characteristic of Democratic policy across America. 

Maybe some clever engineer in Chicago will build a giant searchlight that projects a horse’s ass into the sky.

The mayor would surely respond! The cowboy, flashlight in his teeth, would be too busy counting headstones.

About Chuck de Caro

Chuck de Caro is a contributor to American Greatness. He was CNN's very first Special Assignments Correspondent. Educated at Marion Military Institute and the U.S. Air Force Academy, he later served with the 20th Special Forces Group (Airborne). He has taught information warfare (SOFTWAR) at the National Defense University and the National Intelligence University. He was an outside consultant for the Pentagon’s Office of Net Assessment for 25 years. A pilot since he was 17, he is currently working on a book about the World War I efforts of Fiorello La Guardia, Giulio Douhet, and Gianni Caproni, which led directly to today’s U.S. Air Force Global Strike Command.

Photo: Screenshot/YouTube

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