Collision Course for CNN’s ‘Banzai’ Mother Zucker

In case you missed it Thursday night, Jeff “Mother” Zucker, the Pillsbury doughboy in charge of AT&T’s ratings-starved subsidiary, CNN, once again channeled the spirit of Captain Motoharu Okamura of the Imperial Japanese Navy.

Captain Okamura, you may recall, was the father of the World War II Kamikaze. He sent hundreds of his men to their deaths but survived the war himself.

“Banzai Jeff” thus follows in Captain Okamura’s footsteps, this time letting the two biggest egomaniacs in cable TV crash into each other in the greatest act of parallel self-immolation ever seen on national television!

The two CNN lightning brains decided that they would mock the president’s remarks about his cognitive ability. The only problem is that Fredo and The Lemon are both teleprompter-fed dunderheads. 

In their respective CNN “anchor” egomanias, The Lemon (poster boy for LGBTQ) and Fredo (poster boy for Greaseball Nouveau, with more muscle video than Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino) were oblivious to the fact that on live TV you shouldn’t screw up worse than the guy whose balls you are trying to bust.

But they did. Big time

The Lemon managed to prove he could not tell a hippopotamus from a rhinoceros (the one with the big, hard keratin horn is a rhino, Don).

Fredo then proved he could not do the intellectual heavy lifting, misidentifying an elephant for a rhino. (Fredo, da wun wid da long limp hose is da elefint.)                

And I am sure that Mother Zucker, being of bald pate, was pulling his eyebrows out!

Instead of conjuring the spirit of Captain Okamura to send twin Kamikaze thunderbolts crashing down with devastating effect upon the USS Orange Man Bad, Zucker managed only to send twin thunder-dolts crashing into each other and blowing up CNN . . . again!

This confirmed that under Zucker’s “leadership” CNN continues to be the worst-run unit in all of AT&T. 

Yo! John Stankey! Are you blind? The price of AT&T stock is going down, the shareholders will revolt if you reduce the dividends, DirectTV is hemorrhaging subscribers, and you still have Banzai “Mother” Zucker attempting to run the moonbat clown show that CNN has become.

It is time to rebuild CNN and scupper Zucker’s suckers.

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About Chuck de Caro

Chuck de Caro is a contributor to American Greatness. He was CNN's very first Special Assignments Correspondent. Educated at Marion Military Institute and the U.S. Air Force Academy, he later served with the 20th Special Forces Group (Airborne). He has taught information warfare (SOFTWAR) at the National Defense University and the National Intelligence University. He was an outside consultant for the Pentagon’s Office of Net Assessment for 25 years. A pilot since he was 17, he is currently working on a book about the World War I efforts of Fiorello La Guardia, Giulio Douhet, and Gianni Caproni, which led directly to today’s U.S. Air Force Global Strike Command.

Photo: J. Countess/Getty Images/ww2gravestone.com

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