Great America

Chris Cuomo, CNN’s Cafone

The CNN anchor’s latest on-air stunt is the reason the backhand was invented.

Why, oh why, does Chris Cuomo still have a job? Once again Son Of, Brother Of (SOBO) has turned CNN into a laughing stock and set back the reputation of  American males of Italian descent by 50 years or so.

In case you missed it—and given CNN’s ratings lately, unless you happened to be trapped in an airport, you probably did—the curly-haired, over-Brylcreemed, alleged “anchor” decided he would play Mr. Wizard, by demonstrating that it was possible to hear a cell phone conversation without using the speaker function—to prove, of course, the president’s conversation with Ambassador Gordon Sondland could be overheard by people sitting nearby.

So what did Fredo do to prepare for this?

Did he call Apple to get an engineer to document the decibel measurement? Nope.

Does he get AT&T (CNN’s increasingly embarrassed parent company) to send a scientist to lay out the technical particulars? Don’t be silly.

Nope. SOBO the Clown . . . called his mother! On air! Live! 

Here’s the video: 

No, sorry . . . here’s the video: 

For his efforts, SOBO ended up embarrassing the poor lady who carried him around for nine freaking months! And then he added to her misery by admitting, “She does constantly tell people that I’m a mistake . . . ”  

Savvy woman, that Mrs. Cuomo.

This preening, egotistical, spoiled rich-kid mama’s boy has engaged in the behavior of a cafone, a kind of Italian boor. He is Tony Manero with a law degree.

Watching this mindless, showboating dolt destroying the CNN that my wife Lynne Russell and I helped build years ago is sickening. Worse, that we share the same Italian heritage simply infuriates me. He is the epitome of the greaseball image of Italian American males from which I spent a lifetime trying to escape.

He may be famous, politically connected, and well-educated, but Cuomo is still a peasant.

In my Italian neighborhood in Cranston, Rhode Island in the 1960s, Cuomo would have lasted all of 30 seconds among his peers standing on the corner after the ice cream truck passed by.

He would whine about something and the kid next to him would shift his Dreamsicle to his right hand and backhand him with his left.

Stunned as he rubbed his cheek, SOBO would surely have asked: “What did you do that for?”

And in the Cranstonian vernacular of the times, the answer would surely have been: “Cuomo,  you’re the reason why the b—slap was invented.”

Correction: This story originally misidentified with whom President Trump was conversing. It was Ambassador Gordon Sondland, not the president of Ukraine.