Brexit, Again and Again and Again

Nothing says “End Capitalism” quite like queuing up for lunch at McDonald’s. Then again, nothing makes much sense in the formerly serious country of Great Britain.

Those revolutionaries, exercising suspiciously lax working hours, moments before implored all with chants of “Beef equals grief!” Which rhymes, and is therefore, profound.

London this week crumpled into a grand orchestra of narcissism, as a millenarian death cult shut down major roads, invaded a butchers’ market, and made a general nuisance of themselves.

Of course, dear reader, this is all for your benefit. They’re only trying to save you from your sorry self.

They’re saving the world. They’ll complete this mere triviality by choking traffic, hassling daily-breaders, and forcing onlookers into their ritualistic shaming of all but them.

Extinction Rebellion, a rabble of time-rich white people wretching from a shampoo-less spiritual plane, have again collapsed the capital into a rolling theater in which they, as usual, are center-stage.

They held a rave in Trafalgar Square. “Dance your feelings!” Planted trees outside Parliament. There was even yoga.

A nonsense of the nose-ringed. The Trustafarians have built a “village” under Nelson’s Column. A commune with food-stalls, a community kitchen, and a “well-being sanctuary” for those befallen of their own sanctimony, and those whose swelled tongues have rebelled against the ceaseless flow of audio copy-and-paste.

They’re here for two weeks. We leave the European Union in three. I’ll be on my fourth glass of Shiraz by five. Modern Britain: hits one for six.

So far, police have arrested over 500 people. Extinction Rebellion are calling it their biggest action yet. And perhaps a snapshot of a world of their making. One in which life would be brutal, but sadly not short.

What do they want? To pull down the sun, and light their joints off the flames. Practically. Their policy demands (what they actually call them) would spread their microscopic chaos from sea to sea.

One “ambition” is the “total eradication of carbon emissions within six years.” An entire collapse of the world economy, then. Millions—pretty much everyone—out of work. Starvation. Pestilence.

A strange reality for a group which “listens to the science.” Climate scientists back the same target, though for 2050. So does the British government.

This public theater serves as a mere backdrop to the circus within Parliament. Infused with the rebellious fever of those protesting outside, lawmakers managed to block a no-deal Brexit

Like the rebels of conformity ensconced outside, they’re doing it for our own good. Or something.

Having blocked no-deal via the Benn Act, or what the prime minister rightly calls the “Surrender Act,” Remain “rebels” have hamstrung Boris Johnson.

So, he presented a deal to the European Union. A workable compromise. His offer even unlocked the seemingly intractable Irish border issue.

That deal, according to the European Union, is unacceptable. Remainers in parliament knew it would be.

Which is what they’re digging in for.  On Thursday, the Prime Minister met his Irish counterpart Leo Varadkar. Unless they reach an agreement over the Irish border, talks with the European Union will formally conclude on this morning.

Then, the fun starts: Boris will attempt to leave without a deal on October 31.

Remainers hope Boris is forced to ask for an extension, and, the thinking goes, then they can hold an election in which an anti-Brexit alliance sweeps home, cancels Brexit, and all this silliness slinks into stupor.

That, it emerges, was the plan all along. Having presented a workable deal, and one which could pass the Commons, Boris has learned what some suspected months back—the only acceptable Brexit is Remain.

After all, the EU has a record of this kind of thing. Unpalatable votes in France, Ireland, and Holland were pestled and litigated into irrelevance.

You didn’t think we would actually leave, did you? Neither do they.

Yet, according to The Spectator, the EU and their parliamentary Vietcong are expecting the government to back down, cap-in-hand.

That memo, from a well-placed source insists that this is the final offer.

It reads, 

Those who pushed the Benn Act intended to sabotage a deal and they’ve probably succeeded. So, the main effect of it will probably be to help us win an election by uniting the leave vote and then a no-deal Brexit. History is full of such ironies and tragedies.

Those who supported delay will face the inevitable consequences of being seen to interfere in domestic politics in a deeply unpopular way by colluding with a Parliament that is as popular as the clap.

And that is doubtless the sentiment held by most. We, including one-third of those who voted Remain, want Brexit to be over. And Boris won’t get the blame for any delay.

Most don’t take too kindly to what is now glaring in its luridity: that their vote doesn’t count. Unfortunately, for those would be “rebels,” our votes do count. All 17.4 million of them.

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About Christopher Gage

Christopher Gage is a British political journalist and a founding member of the Gentlemen of the Swig. Subscribe to his Substack, "Oxford Sour."

Photo: WIktor Szymanowicz/NurPhoto via Getty Images

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