Scandalous Limericks

In the year of Hugh Hefner’s demise,
‘Twas a season of hues and of cries.
Though the media mob might
Have hoped to harm the Right—
It has largely turned out otherwise.

Harvey Weinstein’s case started it all—
And this autumn became his big Fall,
As details were confirmed,
All of Hollywood squirmed.
Then, things really began to snowball.

As they nervously watched hell break loose
Each predator prepared an excuse
Kevin Spacey would say,
“Um . . . well . . . but . . . but . . . I’m gay!”
(‘Cause, that way, it’s not child abuse?)

While in ‘Bama, they said, high-school boys
Were deprived of young romance’s joys—
There was angst and despair
‘Mongst those youngsters, for their
Former girlfriends had all become Roy’s.

What Bill Clinton did, back in the day
It’s admitted now, was not OK.
(When confronted, said he
“Hey, guys, don’t look at me—
Didn’t you all support JFK?”)

Conyers, icon of Civil Rights pride
Had let his libido be his guide;
Seems the ladies he grasped
Turned to iconoclasts . . .
Though Pelosi remains starry-eyed.

In the far northern land of lutefisk,
The strong women now start to “tsk, tsk”—
When Keillor comes on—
They protest “Whoa! Begone!—”
They dare not take the terrible risk.

While Al Franken, when he’s on the go,
Gropes the ladies of the USO—
(Franken says he’s sooo sorry,
(But he’ll return tomorry)
(like re-runs of “The Cosby Show.”)

Then there was the news anchor named Lauer,
Who enjoyed his prestige and his power—
To influence the news,
But he, too’s, been accused—
And the whole thing’s gone awfully sour.

While in gay Paree, Pres’dent Macron
Stood aghast at all these goings-on.
“Zo, why did-unt hew guys
“Take Ben Franklan’s ad-vise,
“Whish Ah, mahzelf, act-ed upon?”

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