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‘Indiana Jones 5’ Will Be Disney’s Latest Bomb

Very rarely does a movie designed to take my money for empty entertainment lose me with a 60-second clip. But Disney pulled it off using some of its new, equitable magic. 

“Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny” is set to hit theaters on June 30, and it should be set on rekindling all the magic from our childhoods. Indy was a hero then, taking on enemies who had supernatural powers or who hoped to gain Biblical powers and overcoming them was kind of his thing—and it was enjoyable to watch. Bringing back the character for a fifth film, especially after the stinker that was the one with a UFO and an alien skull, should have been an easy sell to a majority of America—but they already spoiled it by exposing the film’s underlying woke lecture. 

Spoiler alert: Women are infallible, and men are old, bumbling, and weak.

In the roughly minute-long preview clip Disney released on YouTube, we join Harrison Ford’s classic character and the female lead of the film: Helena Shaw, played by Phoebe Waller-Bridge, in a tuk-tuk chase along a dusty road. As they race away from someone shooting at them, their dialogue goes as follows:

Indiana Jones: How did you end up like this?

Helena Shaw: What do you mean? Resourceful? Daring? Beautiful? Self-sufficient?

Groan.

They should just end the film there. She’s perfect and infallible, just like every female character in a Disney-produced film lately. And I would be willing to bet that the lecturing continues throughout the 144-minute movie.

This was all I needed to see to decide whether I wanted to see the film—and, apparently, it was all many viewers of the clip needed as well. At the time of this writing, there were 815 likes and over 7,500 dislikes attached to the clip of the high-speed feminist lecture.

They should’ve just titled it: “Indiana Jones and the Constant Droning Lecture from the Dead-Eyed Feminist.” Or something to that effect. 

Professional film critics also seem to be tired of the franchise’s latest installment, which is odd given its leftist lecturing. Rotten Tomatoes currently gives the film a 52 percent rating—the lowest rating in the franchise’s history. This could be a sign that the people who review films are catching up with viewers in opinion, but most likely not.

Rory Doherty of Flicks UK, in reviewing this film, accidentally summed up what many people with common sense think about modern takes and remakes of old classics:

It’s about time executives realise that franchises can’t be cleanly separated from the visions and talents of those who made them.

Doherty specifically notes that, “A film that inherits the directing mantle from Steven Spielberg should know when to step up.”

The BBC’s Nicholas Barber in giving it 2 out of 5 stars notes the belittling of the classic character without directly saying it:

The jokes, the zest and the exuberance just aren’t there, so instead of a joyous send-off for our beloved hero, we get a depressing reminder of how much livelier his past adventures were.

It’s as if the critics are hinting at the overarching and persistent misandrist messaging in films that is pervasive today without quite saying it—because they’re aware that, if they did, they would risk losing their careers.

The real question becomes: How long will these films continue to be produced and completely flop for major film companies?

We’ve seen the lecturing of Marvel take the once top franchise to record low box office numbers and viewership, while at the same time watching films without the feminist lectures like “The Super Mario Bros. Movie” quickly reach $1 billion. The failures of Hollywood’s recent productions are on full display, but do profits ultimately mean more to the industry than their attempt to indoctrinate the world with their messaging?

One wants to believe that the power of the purse will change the current direction of the entertainment industry—but when you’re in the middle of a Mao-style cultural revolution, money may not matter at all.

“Experts” (snort) forecast that “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny” will need to make $800 million just to break even. My prediction is that it doesn’t even get close.

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About Tim Young

Tim Young is the media and culture critic for American Greatness.

Photo: Ethan Miller/Getty Images

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