Feminism Must Have Been Invented by a Diabolical Man

One day we are going to have find the evil male-chauvinist pig behind the modern feminist movement. Nothing else can explain feminism in my lifetime, except that some wretched misogynist decided to punish women and call it liberation. 

In the first place, this mad megalomaniac convinced women that sexual morality was hurting them. Women were told if they just gave men all the sex they desired, without consequences, women would be “liberated” in becoming just like men. Brilliant! Suddenly men got all the nookie they wanted and women were left alone and heartbroken. 

Naturally, all the free love resulted in babies. Here’s where our he-man woman-hating mastermind turned truly evil. He convinced women that killing their babies was a right. Every year, a million women walk into abortion clinics. They walk out with a greater chance of breast cancer and post-abortion syndrome—the existence of which is denied more vehemnetly than Joe Biden’s dementia. The wicked architect of feminism is careful about what information may be made public.

To keep the “right” to an abortion alive, feminists joined their cause with some of the worst men in existence. They celebrated Ted Kennedy and Bill Clinton. One left a woman to die in his crashed car, and the other has been credibly accused of rape. Nevertheless, they are also celebrated heroes of feminism. Only an Einstein-grade mastermind could have come up with a manipulation like that one.

In 1998, Clinton was revealed as a serial sexual harasser and assaulter. To save him, Gloria Steinem gave us the one free grope rule. At that point, the jig really should have been up. When one of feminism’s founding mothers debased herself in this way, it should have been clear only a sexist puppet master could be behind it all. 

When this degradation of feminism didn’t stop the movement, there was nowhere to go but down. Feminism became “intersectional.” Beautiful young women turned themselves into weak lumberjacks. Men who dressed as women became the best “female” athletes. That was sheer brilliance; I never would have imagined such a thing. Our mastermind must be the most daring man alive. 

But now the game has truly been given away. If this last step doesn’t prove an evil man is behind feminism, I don’t know what can. Hollywood feminists, who made millions by being beautiful, are now making a war on the “male gaze.” Will this maniacal puppet-master ever stop? 

Women asking men to stop gazing at women is like being in a war and giving your enemy all your bombs. The male gaze isn’t something men use to control women. It is something women have been using to control men since Eve told Adam to take a bite of the apple. Cleopatra and Eleanor of Aquitaine were brilliant manipulators of the male gaze. Yeah, Mata Hari got shot, but Fang Fang lives. Eric Swalwell apparently betrayed our country all because of the male gaze. 

If this malevolent monster doesn’t stop, all women will wear oversized costumes with our breasts tied down—just like the new “heroines” in Marvel movies. Victoria’s Secret is closing shops, so men can be liberated from what their eyes behold. Men will no longer be pestered, distracted, or tempted by the sight of a pretty girl. They can concentrate on business and golf, free at last from the sights that attract the dreaded male gaze. Our woman-hating secret commander will have avenged Adam. 

There is only one way to defeat the vile man hidden at the heart of modern feminism. Reject feminism, embrace femininity, devote yourself to motherhood, teach your children the rules that guided and guarded humanity for millennia. Love, marriage, traditional roles—these are the only ways to stop the diabolical monster that is destroying women, children, and even men in the 21st century. 

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About Antoinette Aubert

Antoinette Aubert is a homemaker, secretary, and internet commentator. She has resided her entire life in California and admits that is a foolish choice. Her great accomplishment is her son.

Photo: Christophe Gateau/picture alliance via Getty Images