Sure, Let’s Forget China and Make Global Warming a Pentagon Priority

Like his foreign policy-challenged, apology-spewing former boss Barack Obama, Vertigo Joe Biden is concentrating on socialist-style domestic programs while weakening U.S. foreign policy.  

He’s about to have the kind of Crimean egg on his face that No Drama Obama is still trying to wipe off. 

While the First (Very Senior) Citizen is pushing for pie-in-the-sky Obamaesque utopian programs that include COVID cash for convicts, voting rights for felons, and medical care for illegal aliens, his novel idea for advancing U.S. national security is to order the Pentagon to make climate change, flight suits for pregnant women, and racial sensitivity training top priorities. 

Meanwhile, Biden’s younger and far more nimble competitor, Xi Jinping of China, who has already used the COVID anal swab to embarrass U.S. diplomatic personnel, recently introduced a bigger and better version for Joe Biden: A giant political sigmoidoscopy in the form of Xi’s air force flying an intrusion mission into Taiwanese airspace in squadron strength. 

Not some lumbering one-off drone, but eight nuclear-capable bombers and four escorting fighters.  

Apparently, the Sleepy One had no idea about this. He was too busy peering over a new pile of executive order folders, squinting hard and trying to read the teleprompter, as he continued to make Non-Sequitur his middle name. 

Just the other week, he couldn’t remember the name of his own secretary of defense, Lloyd Austin, who was standing next to him, (perhaps the secretary could recycle his old Army plastic name tag as a “presidential memory lapse preventer”) as he sputtered on about women in the military and proudly introduced the new fire-retardant pregnancy flight suit. 

(No OPSEC problem there. Surely no enemy would ever count the number of suits manufactured, count to nine months, and determine the drop in readiness…).

About the very same time, the U.S. Air Force, soon-to-be-recipient of those swell new flight suits, sheepishly announced it “had its ass handed to it” in a war game with China.

Three previous U.S. presidents had to deal with Communist China when a crisis in the Taiwan Straits was dropped in their respective laps: Harry Truman, Dwight Eisenhower, and Bill Clinton. All reacted quickly—Ike, in particular, as his Navy was locked and loaded with nukes.

Biden, too, has a developing strategic crisis, but he hasn’t figured it out yet.    

If war should break out between Taiwan and China, expect it to go nuclear. Taiwan, for 50 years, has been classified as a “threshold” nuclear power. With a number of existing commercial and research reactors, how long would it be, in a desperate battle situation, before the Taiwanese reasoned they had nothing to lose and lobbed a crude nuke or three at Xi’s smiling face? And were then massively counter-nuked in retaliation? 

Not to mention the odd handful of 500,000-ton supertankers carrying millions of gallons of crude oil in their plodding transit of the Taiwan Strait, which would get caught in the crossfire and explode. 

In that scenario, Biden would have helped cause his very own climate change: A short nuclear winter and a burning oil slick from the Mekong Delta to Yokohama.  

Vertigo Joe could then whistle for his global warming czar to clean up the mess. John Kerry’s Navy swift boat experience would not be wasted in the effort. Let him climb into one of those fire-resistant pregnancy flight suits. America is back!

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About Mark Sessantuno

Mark Sessantuno, a pseudonym, is a national security expert.

Photo: (Photo by MANDEL NGAN / AFP) (Photo by MANDEL NGAN/AFP via Getty Images)