Modern Camp

Hola madre, hola padre, aquí estoy en Casa San Diego.

OK, it’s not summer camp. And we all can feel bad about the immigrant children, separated from parents who brought them into this country illegally. But keep in mind, the parents committed a crime. Unfortunately, when parents do the crime, the kids do the time.

Sure, it’s not their fault. But children always suffer for their parents’ transgressions.

Of course, these immigrant children are not really suffering. Camp HHS offers the best possible accommodations. Free room and board and healthcare. Considering that illegals flee their home countries to escape really miserable and rotten conditions, the amenities available to these kids are most definitely an upgrade.

That summer camp crack got Laura Ingraham into a bit of trouble. By now, we’re quite familiar with the routine: a conservative utters an innocuous―occasionally snarky―comment, and the know-nothing, faux-caring Hollywood elite mobilizes to take them out.

This time the usual suspects are aiming higher. Their target is Fox News, Laura Ingraham’s employer. The Left loves nothing more than to hate Fox News. To them, nothing can be more reviled, with the exception of Donald Trump, of course.

Fox News is part of Fox Entertainment Group, the studio that hires people to create television shows. One such employee is Steve Levitan, creator of “Modern Family,” a show that airs on ABC but is a Fox production.

“Modern Family” is about different types of people with diverse proclivities, who show affection and tolerance for each other. Levitan proves that what he writes is all make-believe. In a shocking display of intolerance, Levitan tweeted that he was “disgusted to work at a company that has anything whatsoever to do with” Fox.

Others who owe their wealth and success to Fox also took their turns at being ingrates. “It’s business like this that makes me embarrassed to work for this company,” said Seth MacFarlane.

He was referring to another Fox News personality, Tucker Carlson, who had the temerity to tell viewers to stick with Fox News and not believe “whatever they’re telling you on the big news stations.”

Imagine that, promoting your own show and your own network! Next thing you know, Coke will be telling you not to drink Pepsi.

Timeout. Can we all get along? Because there is a simple solution to this.

You know those commercials to “send these kids to camp?” Well, a sympathetic and caring Hollywood community can do one better. They all can team up and send these kids to their own homes.

Consider the hundreds of acres of choice land available―from Beverly Hills to Brentwood to Malibu―for these kids to romp safely and serenely. And of course, the scores of pools offering the children a cool and refreshing break. Not to mention all that beachfront property that can be made available to children who may never have even been to the seashore.

Judging by the large number of tweet condemnations, there are so many caring individuals among the Hollywood crowd. They can simply open their homes to these children, and their long and arduous journeys will have a fairytale ending.

So Steve Levitan, contact your friends and get rolling with this. Send these children to your homes, and create a truly Modern Family.

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About Steve Lipman

Steve Lipman is a writer in Los Angeles whose irreverent approach to the serious issues of the day goes where angels fear to tread.