Have You Seen Your Leaker, Baby, Standing in the Shadow?

Well, I was just passin’ the time . . .” Though I prefer reading back issues of Creem magazine to current editions of “news” publications, and despite my best efforts to drown out the present cacophonous political discourse beneath the deafening blast of a Marshall stack, by happenstance I stumbled upon “hot news”—i.e., swamp gossip—spewed from the febrile minds of that miasmatic cesspool’s political critters.

Two “news” items were leaks about the White House. Another was a rumor regarding the U.S. House of Representatives. And all three items were targeted to induce a common outcome: divide and conquer the Republicans.

Alas, time to wearily set aside the Telecaster to chop these cheesy leaks and rumor riffs to pieces.

The two White House leaks involved newly named National Security Advisor John Bolton.

Leakers alleged both Defense Secretary James Mattis and White House Chief of Staff John Kelly worry they might not be able to work with Bolton. To believe Secretary Mattis is worried about this is risible, considering he does, in fact, spend his time making others stay up at night worrying about what he’s going to do to them. Equally laughable is the claim that Kelly, who has grievously sacrificed and suffered in our nation’s behalf, would somehow lose his estimable equanimity and blanch at the very mention of “National Security Advisor Bolton.”

The reality is Mattis and Kelly are contemptuous of leakers, leaking, and other inane, grab-ass parlor games so popular in the swamp. So is Bolton.

In fact, one of the chief criticisms—other than claims he’s a warmongering, mustachioed swinger (per Iran and the American Left)—is that he lacks a “diplomatic” demeanor. Translation: Bolton, like Mattis and Kelly, is straightforward, consistent and blunt in articulating his promotion and defense of America’s strategic national interests. Recognizing this in each other, Mattis, Kelly, and Bolton’s mutual respect will ensure their working in concert to advance President Trump’s national security agenda, even in instances where they may initially differ on how.

For the edification of the low-life leakers who are not straightforward, consistent, and blunt in the pursuit of their own interests, Mattis, Kelly, and Bolton practice the increasingly lost arts of mature behavior and adult decision making. It’s good news for America, if not the venal leakers of such “news.”

The rumor regarding the U.S. House is that Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) is departing soon and will be replaced by another member of the Republican leadership.

But as the past biennial targets of such “internecine Republican rivalry” rumors, former Speaker John Boehner and Majority Leader Eric Cantor have both stated that Ryan isn’t going to abandon his post as the crucial midterms approach.

Boehner and Cantor, who both are friends and former colleagues of Ryan, are spot on. Such “imminent departure” gossip is only plausible in the minds of the same critics who consistently underestimate Speaker Ryan due to a simple, ineluctable truth: Ryan is a good, honest dude who prefers policy to politics (and, yes, truly never sought the speakership). Consequently, as is so often the case, the gossipmongers mistake Ryan’s strengths for weaknesses, which tells you all you need to know about both Ryan and the rumor peddlers.

So what links these leaks and rumors?

The Left wants to divide and conquer the Republicans on the cheap by pitting President Trump’s appointees against each other to undermine his agenda; and setting GOP House leadership at each other’s throats to hamper preserving the Republican majority.

Preposterous, you say? Yep. But while this scurrilous swamp scuttlebutt passed off as “news” won’t attain the aims of the leakers, rumor mongers, Leftists and media elitists pimping them, they really don’t give a rat’s ass. (For which only the rat is grateful.) They dig it and do it without consequence—in the odd instance they aren’t rewarding each other for it.

Ergo, in the task of draining the swamp and making America great again, the best defense against these (non-criminal) leakers and rumor mongers’ “divide and cower” in the shadows strategy is to tune them out.

The Telecaster and Marshall stack is optional.

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