Having Your Cake
Well, the florist is gone and the petals have dropped. The baker’s made cake, or else closed down his shop. “Man and man?” “Wife and […]
Poetry
Bumperstocky
Twas quarter-past Hysteric, and The media did sound alarms; All froozy were the Democrats, Yarping of firearms. “Beware, my son, the Bumperstock; The muzzle-loading barrel […]
Scandalous Limericks
In the year of Hugh Hefner’s demise, ‘Twas a season of hues and of cries. Though the media mob might Have hoped to harm the […]
A Danny Deever Do-Over
With apologies to Rudyard Kipling. “What’s on the news this mornin’, Sarge?” said Files-on-Parade.“More signs of the Apocalypse,” his Platoon Sergeant said.“Hey, Sarge, how come […]
The Ravin’: A Tale of Establishment Terror
With apologies to Edgar Allen Poe . . . Politics, corrupt and dreary, left me discouraged and weary, Pondering a faltering nation none seemed willing […]
Trick or Mistreating
Tell me, have you picked a costume for your campus Trick-or-Treating? Nowadays, it bears repeating, you had best take special care. The occasion may be […]
Uranium One: A Tale from Ancient Times
In the reign of Barack the Anointed, Him whom they called “the Transparent One,” His SecState got a half-a-mil kickback For the sale of Uranium […]
She Didn’t Know What She Signed Up For
She didn’t know what she signed up for,She does not understand it at all—Why not use, for political ambush,A Gold Star family’s condolence call? She […]
On the Occasion of the International Day of the Girl
The action-movie heroine,(Stance dramatic, costume tight)Defeats predatory villainsWith her righteous wrath and might. They’re heavier by thirty pounds,Most of it’s muscle mass—She lines ‘em up […]
Ready for the Rapture?
In case you haven’t heard, Saturday (according to a newly released YouTube video) is supposed to be the date of “the Rapture.” Resident Poet, Joe […]
Trumping “Emmy-nence”
No aristocratic titles Are attached to presidents… But after that awards show? Well, call Trump “His Emmy-nence”. He’s their unifying figure, And the sum of […]
The Ballad of Sir Ben
To Berkeley rode Shapiro, Bold knight with banners gay. (’Twas neither crusade nor jihad— He rolleth not that way.) Quite modest his agenda, Quite mild […]
Feinstein’s Getting Verse
Editor’s Note: Senator Dianne Feinstein (D, CA) yesterday attacked a Catholic federal judicial nominee because, as Feinstein claimed, “”When you read your speeches, the conclusion […]
On Harvey’s Heels
Do you recall the previous FLOTUS? Whene’er her biceps she showed us, How the media gushed and cooed – Worshipful, their attitude. Dutifully each courtier, […]
The Proverbs of Pelosi
In her attempt to deny the free speech rights of a group called “Patriot Prayer,” Nancy Pelosi argued that the group should not be granted a permit […]
Revving Up the General Lee
There once was an Asian named “Lee,” Whose boss said, “Stand down, Bob. You see, “If you announce that game, “Just the sound of your […]
Antisocial Justice: A Poem
All rise!” intoned the bailiff, And then everybody rose. My lawyer took a deep breath And then muttered, “Well, here goes . . .” Her […]
The Diversity Queen: A Poem
The Queen of Hearts, from Wonderland, Climbed from her rabbit hole, Strode into College Admissions And assumed royal control. “I object to objectivity!” She regally […]
Ballad of the Unsuccessful Fugitive (Or ‘Never a Dulles Moment’)
Imran Awan, he used to be Wasserman-Schultz’s employee, And he did lots of secret stuff— Alas! Not quite secret enough. Imran Awan, I’m sad to […]
Russian to Conclusions: A Poem
In the aftermath of scandal, Junior’s looking rather meek— He’s been out behind the woodshed. He won’t sit down for a week. Now, to send […]