Boob Job

“An Ontario high school teacher who wears giant prosthetic breasts, which some have deemed to be ‘obscene,’” Fox News reports, “may be causing a new dress code policy change for more professional attire.”

The teacher is Kayla Lemieux, formerly Kerry Lemieux, of Trafalgar High School in Oakville, Ontario, in the metropolitan Toronto region. Lemieux likes to strap on a set of Z-cup fake breasts which some parents view as dangerous for shop class and inappropriate attire for classroom instruction. The Halton School District doesn’t think so.

According to the Toronto Sun, the Halton School Board says the cost of filing a freedom-of-information request about Lemieux is $3,085. For concerned parents, whose taxes fund the district, that could be prohibitive. The board has not explained how the teacher’s grotesque clown costume contributes to students’ education. On the other hand, the board touts the need to affirm human rights for “underserved and underrepresented groups” and declines to comment on “human resources matters.”

When Rebel News reporter David Menzies showed up at a board meeting decked out in Lemieux-style pectoral gear, police removed him from the premises. Students have been forbidden to photograph the busty one, but pics have been leaking out.


One video shows Lemieux skydiving with porn star Alexandre Boisvert, who goes by the name Voodoo and is not a fan of trans activism. Even so, as Voodoo told the Daily Mail, “I’ll throw anyone out of a plane. Plus, I regarded taking a big 230 pound person with huge prosthetic breasts on a skydive as a challenge. Most instructors would not even take them strictly on their size alone.”

Important safety tip, and Voodoo has a point. Hard hats, bowling balls, pontoons and such don’t really do the fake boobs justice.

Their precise weight is uncertain, but the fake boobs would not double as a flotation device. In a photo of Lemieux strolling poolside, the boobs look like a truck driver’s beer belly. As the pic also reveals, Lemieux has yet to spring for a tuck-and-roll job, and could probably use a matching codpiece. The manufacturer of the prosthetic breasts could offer the codpiece as part of a boxed set, perhaps with optional back brace.

In a photo of Lemieux with crutches, the shop teacher’s face resembles the transvestite Dr. Robert Elliot (Michael Caine) in Dressed to Kill who carves up Kate Miller (Angie Dickinson) with a razor. Had the mysterious blonde slasher decked himself out in giant prosthetic breasts, that could have tipped off the victims. Lemieux is a pretty scary package his own self.

Parents wonder why the students must abide by a dress code while the enhanced shop teacher stands exempt. District bosses side with Lemieux all the way, and ban the kids from taking any photos. Jokes and laughter are doubtless discouraged. Menzies sees evidence that Canada is becoming more like a police state, and he’s on to something.

Much of Canada, particularly its ruling class, has fallen under the Dictatorship of the Subjunctive mood (DSM), a permanent conflict with reality. According to science—bone structure, hormones, internal organs and such—Lemieux is in fact a man. He thinks he’s transitioning to a woman and everybody in the world must go along, enforced by the authorities.

Defy all reality, think only what we want you to think, and say only what we want you to say, or else. This is totalitarian taunting, but there may be more to the story.

 Lemieux means “the best” but with the quality of his teaching in question, the shop teacher may have been striving for “the biggest.” That recalls the one and only Chesty Morgan, also known as Ilana Wajc, Liliana Wilczkowska and Lillian Stello.

Chesty boasted a bust of 73 inches, not augmented in any way, and with full measurements empirically verifiable at 73-32-36. By some accounts, Chesty wielded the biggest bust ever recorded for a film star. She began her career as exotic dancer and went on to star in films such as Double Agent 73 and Deadly Weapons. Federico Fellini reportedly cast Chesty as Barbarina in Fellini’s Casanova, but her scenes wound up on the cutting room floor.

 To the naked eye, the profiles may be similar but the reality is quite different. Chesty is a real woman with real breasts. Lemieux is a man with fake breasts, and everybody must accept his unreality, or else.

The Dictatorship of the Subjunctive Mood has a way of becoming an actual dictatorship. What begins as porn has now become policy north of the border, where totalitarianism is more advanced. Stand on guard for southward spread, with Lemieux imitators leading the charge.

In the meantime, as Stanley Kowalski (Marlon Brando) told Blanche DuBois (Vivian Leigh) “Look at yourself. . . . What kind of queen do you think you are? I been on to you from the start. You know what I say? Ha! Ha! You hear me? HA! HA! HA!”

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About Lloyd Billingsley

Lloyd Billingsley is the author of Hollywood Party and other books including Bill of Writes and Barack ‘em Up: A Literary Investigation. His journalism has appeared in the Wall Street Journal, the Spectator (London) and many other publications. Billingsley serves as a policy fellow with the Independent Institute.

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