Alex Mooney Is Going to Need a New Antiperspirant

It’s getting uncomfortably hot under the magnifying glass for U.S. Representative Alex Mooney (R-W.Va.), as both the Office of Congressional Ethics and the House Ethics Committee continue to take a hard look at him. 

The man pictured in the cherub-faced portrait that decorates his official emails and postcardsa much younger, thinner, more carefree Mooneyhas long since devolved into the current, under-investigation sweaty version. He is a hybrid of Boston’s classic pol Billy Bulger, and Cuba’s pre-Castro bully-boy dictator Fulgencio Batista. (“Alejandro” is half-Cuban and bloviates about his heritage, but to date has done nothing-nada-zilch.)

So, how hot is it?

Mooney has started a defense fund to defend his campaign fund!

The unequaled king of the congressional soft shoe has found another way to fill his coffers. This time going to his big donors. Surely it is only a coincidence that Mooney’s Liberty Score merges almost perfectly with the richest conservative PACs. 

It seems that the Mooney appellative “political prostitute” bestowed by Forbes in 2014 was prescient. Due to his carpetbagging from nearby Maryland, the term “Baltimore Whore” has been overheard, although that would be grossly unfair to Baltimore, working girls in general, and even the B-26 Marauder bomber. 

Thus, The Frederick (Maryland) Trick might be a more accurate descriptor as Mooney tries to save his demonstrably Brobdingnagian derriere from his own mismanagement of his campaign fund, which is depleting all the monies . . . in his campaign fund.

So far he has blown $136,000 dodging the misuse of around $40,000 (at least what is known to be “in question”) of his campaign dollars. 

Alex Mooney is chutzpah on angel dust!

As the congressman refuses to take questions from American Greatness, we are forced to ask for comments from his opponent, Representative David McKinley’s (R-W. Va) campaign. Campaign manager Kevin Stephens responded:

I’m sure Maryland Mooney’s out-of-state donors are thrilled that he is asking them to pay high-priced D.C. lawyers now that he’s been caught red-handed and is under investigation. They probably felt the same way when they realized they have been subsidizing his fast-food habit at Chik-fil-A for years and paying for him to jet across the country. It’s clear Mooney feels the walls closing in on him and is sweating bullets over the mounting legal bills from the expanding ethics investigation. 

There’s that dang sweat thing again. Quick: Ban! Arid! Right Guard! Somebody invent Left Guard!

Apparently, part of that defense money spent on defending the campaign funds goes to a crisis PR guy with a fancy company name: Coldspark and the one and only Mark Harris

Harris has a reputation for being slicker than bus-station chili, and for torquing reality with such great gusto that he could get Boris and Natasha appointed to the Vatican Council.  

It takes lots of money to pay for that kind of juice.

For thoughts on that, as Mooney will not speak with anyone from American Greatness, we again turn to Kevin Stephens:

Given Alex Mooney’s track record of underhanded dealing and blatant falsehoods, it would not be surprising if his team were engaged in astroturfed attacks against McKinley. We wouldn’t put anything past this corrupt, unethical, carpetbagger. In any event, we’re focused on spreading our message of conservative results for West Virginia, not what keyboard warriors from across the country think.

While Stephens’ comments are pithy, here in Jefferson County, West Virginia, there is not much buzz about his campaign. It seems to be off to a slow start with the primary only two months away. 

Still no date as to when McKinley will be available for an on-the-record interview.

Meantime, McKinely’s campaign would be well advised to track down the Mooney aides who, after the investigation began, “left.” (In D.C. speak: “Bailed the hell out before G-Men in trenchcoats started asking questions.”)

Those lucky survivors are Sophia Murray, campaign manager and part-time staff assistant; Chad Story, district director and deputy chief of staff; Ashley Phillips, scheduler; Lynn Hatcher, communications director; Colton Moor, legislative correspondent; Garrett Huizenga, press assistant; Kevin Carrugati, staff assistant.

If they have not been interviewed by the OCE or the ethics committee, their pre-bailout knowledge of the modus operandi Mooneycus could be very interesting.

Meanwhile, the Mooney campaign must keep shoveling money to lawyers and especially to the PR guy . . . to keep Coldspark from becoming NoSpark. Or Colddork.

About Chuck de Caro

Chuck de Caro is a contributor to American Greatness. He was CNN's very first Special Assignments Correspondent. Educated at Marion Military Institute and the U.S. Air Force Academy, he later served with the 20th Special Forces Group (Airborne). He has taught information warfare (SOFTWAR) at the National Defense University and the National Intelligence University. He was an outside consultant for the Pentagon’s Office of Net Assessment for 25 years. A pilot since he was 17, he is currently working on a book about the World War I efforts of Fiorello La Guardia, Giulio Douhet, and Gianni Caproni, which led directly to today’s U.S. Air Force Global Strike Command.

Photo: Bill Clark/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images

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