Fall TV Guide

Dave Chappelle has been taking some heat for mocking the “alphabet people,” who fancy themselves off-limits to criticism in general and from comedians in particular. In similar style, the Biden Junta takes itself very seriously. If television satirists dared to show the courage of Chappelle, the bill of fare might look something like this: 

“West Wing-Nut”

White House staff chastise the president for telling reporters he wasn’t supposed to say anything about Afghanistan in the press briefing. As punishment, staffers assign the president lessons in history, geography, and area codes. Theme music: “It’s Not for Me to Say,” by Johnny Mathis and “Your Mind is On Vacation,” by Mose Allison.

“Chic Ho and the Man”

Octogenarian Willie Brown, whose “poontronage” got Kamala Harris started, suddenly shows up to reprise their relationship. The meeting does not go well.

Theme music: “Baby Come Back,” by Player, and “You’re No Good,” by Betty Everett.

“You Ain’t Blackish”

The president tells Kamala Harris “You ain’t black,” if she refuses to fix the mess at the border.

Theme music: “Black and Blue,” by Lou Rawls.

“Streets of San Francisco”

Nancy Pelosi, Gavin Newsom, and Dianne Feinstein lead the homeless in a mass cleanup of excrement in the City by the Bay.

Theme music: “San Francisco” by Scott McKenzie, and “I Left My Heart in San Francisco,” by Tony Bennett.

“The Spy Who Loved Me”

In the throes of the pandemic, Representative Eric Swalwell (D-Calif.) and the glamorous Fang Fang slip away to Catalina for some much needed R&R. Theme music: “Hot Stuff,” by Donna Summer, and “Gimme Some Lovin’” by the Spencer Davis Group.

“Dog Day Afternoon”

Dr. Anthony Fauci injects himself with methamphetamine, dons a white lab coat, and tortures beagles for a better world.

Theme music, “Hound Dog,” by Big Mama Thornton.

“Thoroughly Modern Milley”

The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff tips off China that America plans an attack. China responds with a nuclear attack on America. Theme music, “Ever Since the World Ended,” by Mose Allison and “We’ll Meet Again,” by Vera Lynn. 

And so on. Admittedly, the Biden Junta defies satire, but the best targets are always those who believe they are off-limits. Consider the possibilities for AOC, Nancy Pelosi, Bernie Sanders, Pete Buttigieg et al. Dave Chappelle, meanwhile, is not afraid to speak his mind, and he understands the constitutional principles that make his craft possible. 

First Amendment is first for a reason,” the comic explains. “Second Amendment is just in case the first one doesn’t work.”

About Lloyd Billingsley

Lloyd Billingsley is the author of Hollywood Party and other books including Bill of Writes and Barack ‘em Up: A Literary Investigation. His journalism has appeared in the Wall Street Journal, the Spectator (London) and many other publications. Billingsley serves as a policy fellow with the Independent Institute.

Photo: Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for Rodemode Inc

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