Alex Mooney, Greenhorn Strategist 

Well, U.S. Representative Alex Mooney (R-W.Va.) has done it again. The lumbering carpetbagger is now on a slow-motion media blitz where he continues to demonstrate that the only reason he opens his mouth is to switch feet.

Maybe it is because his communications director, Lynn Hatcher, artfully departed just a couple of weeks ago in a manner that would be described in military vernacular as “the prudent use of the rocket ejection seat.”

You know, the kind of departure where both engines are on fire, the left-wing has fallen off, the cockpit is filled with smoke, and the ground is rising up to smite thee.  

Nonetheless, Hatcher managed a particularly graceful lateral arabesque, landed safely, and is now working in the office of another congressman.

The current “comms” responsibility for Mooney has devolved to Garrett Huizenga of Michigan. He is also the son of Rep. Bill Huizenga, whose office is across from Mooney’s. Garrett Huizenga is 23. Mooney’s website hasn’t been updated since June 30. And now the overwhelmed young Huizenga is managing the website, along with outgoing constituent information mailings (called 499s), media inquiries, and the TV and radio appointments of his own personal Sasquatch.

Poor Garrett may be the only person on Capitol Hill who got scooped before he could post to his boss’s own website!

It seems that The American Conservative published Mooney’s proposed paperwork for the authorization for the use of military force (AUMF) before Alejandro El Gordo could even make it official!

How hard is it to get leaked documents on Wednesday when on Tuesday Mooney appeared on WHVU and bloviated in his trademark Eddie Haskell sincerity about Cuba, this time proposing that the United States establish a safe zone and a no fly zone by use of military force. 

Apparently, Chief of Staff Mike “Shoebill” Hough didn’t brief young Huizenga to tell Mooney that the Cubans have actual jet fighters and anti-aircraft missiles far better than the ones they used on October 27, 1962 to shoot down a U-2 spyplane and kill the pilot, Major Rudolph Anderson.

The Cubans might get perturbed and start shooting . . . again. Or even start a war.

Advice to Representative Mooney, who has zero military experience and who now has evolved into the worst kind of amateur armchair general is simple: Pay attention, and think before you speak! 

The idea here is not to “explode” Cuba but to “implode” Cuba. And quickly.

The United States, in fact, does have an opportunity to implode the Communist government of Cuba. We can do it by exacerbating the current domestic unrest by working around the shutdown of the Internet throughout the island using off-the-shelf technologies.

The first step is to get a presidential finding to accelerate the Communist regime’s fall. Next is the purchase of thousands of suitcase-size VSATs (Very Small Aperture Terminals) that can use Cuban domestic electric power or 12-volt battery power to operate. Then add thousands of both Inmarsat and iridium satellite telephones, with chargers and accessories.

Next is a covert effort to smuggle the units all over Cuba to regain connectivity. Because the dishes have a very narrow beamwidth they are hard to detect when transmitting. Wi-Fi transmission is too easy to detect, so any secure distribution must be by ethernet cable. It would be possible, however, to daisy chain numerous Wi-Fi units, so as to at least confuse detection efforts for short periods of time.

Another approach would be the use multiple aerostats like the old “Fat Albert” blimp in either land or sea-based operations, or a constellation of high altitude balloons or stratospheric airships stationed at heights where there is little or no air movement. Hovering over Cuba at or above 70,000 feet, it might be possible to establish a Wi-Fi system connected to the Internet through onboard satellite transceivers, depending on antennae gain, and thus be able to distribute access to a large area below.

The best approach would be a combination of all of the above, so that Cuban jamming and other countermeasures are diluted or at least frustrated.

In this way, Cuban protest demonstrations could be coordinated and continued with this parallel communications pathway. 

To add to the Communists’ consternation, bring back TV Marti.

The Gulfstream-1 turboprop that transmitted regular broadcasts could be brought out of flyable storage and used temporarily to advise the Cuban population that the world cares about their plight and will soon find a way to regenerate the Internet. Yes, the Cuban government will get bent out of shape and the U.N.’s International Telecommunications Union will scream and point fingers. But then again, we have lawyers, too.

Alternatively, the three Commando Solo III aircraft of the 193rd Special Operations Wing in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, could augment the mission while the commies and aforementioned U.N. pukes are treated for myocardial infarctions.

The idea here is to circumvent the Cuban Communist suppression—fast—and let the demonstrations take their course—culminating either with a negotiated liberalization or regime downfall by implosion. 

Alejandro el Gordo could avoid another face plant by avoiding half-baked war resolutions that might look good to certain conservative donors but have zero chance of getting through Congress and affecting the mess in Cuba. Most Americans would love to see a free Cuba. But not at the cost of more American lives and treasure.

About Chuck de Caro

Chuck de Caro is a contributor to American Greatness. He was CNN's very first Special Assignments Correspondent. Educated at Marion Military Institute and the U.S. Air Force Academy, he later served with the 20th Special Forces Group (Airborne). He has taught information warfare (SOFTWAR) at the National Defense University and the National Intelligence University. He was an outside consultant for the Pentagon’s Office of Net Assessment for 25 years. A pilot since he was 17, he is currently working on a book about the World War I efforts of Fiorello La Guardia, Giulio Douhet, and Gianni Caproni, which led directly to today’s U.S. Air Force Global Strike Command.

Photo: Jim Lo Scalzo-Pool/Getty Images

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