If, as President Trump has suggested, he is unable to obtain the judicial remedies he seeks before December 14 and Joe Biden is certified as the president-elect by the Electoral College (an outcome Trump has said he will accept), Trump must then decide whether or not to offer parting remarks.
He should address his supporters in the same way that Bill Murray whispered into Scarlet Johanssen’s ear at the end of “Lost in Translation,” “I have to be leaving but I won’t let that come between us.”
Here’s what he should say:
I love America. This is a great nation and we are a great people who are always striving to be greater.
I am an eternal optimist and I am optimistic about America’s future even though my time as its chief executive has come to an end—for now. [Wink, wink, nod, nod. That’ll make the press go berserk.]
Four years ago you started a movement to reclaim your government. My candidacy was your pump to drain the D.C. swamp. There is plenty of gas left in that pump—I love our beautiful fossil fuels—and so you should not stop telling those ruling-class politicians who would rather lord over you than represent your interests to frack off.
We did some incredible things together. We built the strongest economy the world has ever seen. We stopped treating our enemies like friends and letting our friends take advantage of us. We restored America for Americans of every race, religion, and disposition.
In the process, we ripped the mask of radical leftists who took over the Democratic Party and exposed them for the thuggish mob of ingrates they are. They neither respect the rule of law nor those charged with enforcing it. They have no appreciation for our history, for the sacrifices those who came before them made so they could attend Ivy League schools and bitch about how oppressed they are on social media.
The totalitarian Left was rejected on November 3rd as highlighted by the unexpected gains we made in the House while also retaining control of the Senate. Who would’ve thought I’d get 12 million more votes than I did in 2016 and still lose? Very strange. But that’s a story for another day.
The story for today is your story. It’s the story of the people who play by the rules in America.
It’s the story of Americans who put on a uniform to defend America.
It’s the story of Americans who open the schoolhouse doors to children who have the wrong addresses or household incomes in order to give them the same opportunities to learn that the children of the rich and the well-connected have.
It’s the story of problem-solving Americans who serve their fellow man by opening a business. Think about the contribution to humanity the pharmaceutical companies who developed COVID-19 vaccines have made because of, rather than in spite of, their pursuit of profits.
It’s the story of you, the Deplorables, who never lost faith in America’s founding principles even when your elected leaders did. In the process you did exactly what we set out to do. You made America great again.
I am forever grateful to have served as your president for the last four years. God Bless You. And God Bless America, the greatest nation the world has ever seen and will ever see.