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Hanoi Jane, Geriatric Commie Strikes Again

“Jane, You Ignorant Slut!” Dan Aykroyd’s famous 1975 “Saturday Night Live” punchline reverberated across the decades as the traitor Jane Fonda, having run out of Type-59 Chinese Communist-made 57mm anti-aircraft cannons with which to betray her country, has now turned to the Almighty in a big way.

In an unbelievably asinine statement, reminiscent of classic “SNL” character, the doddering Emily Litella, the former part-time North Vietnamese Army gun layer has now unilaterally decided that COVID-19 is “God’s gift to the Left!” 

(Apparently, Jane once thought Harvey Weinstein was God, but after a year of thinking about it, she decided that she was wrong.)  

Advice to Ms. Fonda: Put down the Geritol and Human Growth Hormone. It is not working.

Pay attention: COVID came not from God, but from Communist China.

Specifically, the Wuhan Institute of Virology, located way down upon the Yangtze River by colorful Lake Ye Hu at Xiao Hong Shan No.44, Wuhan, Hubei in C-O-M-M-U-N-I-S-T  C-H-I-N-A! 

(Given the enormity of such a “gift,” the Institute’s phone number, 027-87198593, is likely on the doddering Ms. Fonda’s speed dial.)

Bettmann/Getty Images

You know, Mao’s boys, the Commies next door, who supplied your NVA buddies when you were a young turncoat in that cute helmet?

Now that you are a befuddled old fool of an ex-movie star, try to understand that COVID is not a “gift” to the Left. 

It is a “gift” from the Left. 

The Left composed of those self-same Chinese Communists who provided your anti-aircraft gun as well as their fellow travelers of the American Far Left whom you have supported your entire adult life.

Consider this: Maybe the president should have his COVID-19 antibodies cloned on a mass scale as a therapeutic and distributed first to California. You know: God’s gift from the Right.

Your choice: Face COVID at your very advanced age and maybe die, or save yourself by being injected with literally a little shot of Trump.

It is easy to surmise what your choice will be and to wish you the best in the next life. 

The NVA is sure to provide full military honors.

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About Chuck de Caro

Chuck de Caro is a contributor to American Greatness. He was CNN's very first Special Assignments Correspondent. Educated at Marion Military Institute and the U.S. Air Force Academy, he later served with the 20th Special Forces Group (Airborne). He has taught information warfare (SOFTWAR) at the National Defense University and the National Intelligence University. He was an outside consultant for the Pentagon’s Office of Net Assessment for 25 years. A pilot since he was 17, he is currently working on a book about the World War I efforts of Fiorello La Guardia, Giulio Douhet, and Gianni Caproni, which led directly to today’s U.S. Air Force Global Strike Command.

Photo: Getty Images/Getty Images for Supermajority