A Jewish Conservative Rant

First off to prequalify, since we live in the Age of Prequalification: ‘’m Jewish, I’m a conservative, I am sober, and I suffer from alopecia. So, I’m all about intersectionality, and if you disagree with what I say you are a stone-cold anti-Semite.

How come those who want to raise taxes never pay more? The government will gladly accept the donation.

Why do all liberals who have been canceled by cancel culture, or comedians who constantly complain that they can’t entertain in this politically correct environment, keep voting for the party that is stifling them?

Why do blacks who have been kept down by “systemic racism,” brought upon them by the Democratic Party, keep voting for indentured servitude? Yes, that’s what a welfare system creates. Or to quote Sonny from “A Bronx Tale”: “I treat my men good, but not too good, or I’m not needed. I give just enough so that they need me, but they don’t hate me.” Sound familiar? 

Why do Jews—oh, my Jews!—constantly vote for a party that stands with Israel as much as Adolf Hitler would have done?

Why are people who constantly promise to leave America if so-and-so is elected still here? 

Why don’t the people who want to defund the police simply block 911 from their phones? Or never dial that number in case of any emergency?

Why are Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton still relevant? Or Louis Farrakhan, for that matter? Add Maxine Waters to the mix. (Is it only me, or do Waters and Sharpton look eerily similar?) If people living in black inner cities are wondering why they are constantly being left back, look no further than the “murderer’s row” of snake-oil salesmen and anti-Semites they have chosen as their spiritual guides. 

Why are companies in America so damn scared of a group of trolls who, for the most part, can’t afford the products they are selling? 

Here is a tip for Black Lives Matter, Antifa, and all other agitators: if you are going to protest, riot, and loot, have an exit strategy. Otherwise, some of us might just get the impression that all you truly want to do is protest, riot, and loot. Or to paraphrase Neal Page, have a point, it makes it so much more interesting to the listener. 

Protesting in America is a lot like getting sunburned. There might be a little sting, but for the most part, it leaves no real imprint. If you truly want to protest, might I humbly suggest a good landing spot. Protest gay rights, women’s rights, and, well just about all rights. Just do it in the Middle East. Make sure, though, to wear your face mask, and please make sure to record it, so we can see how well their police and military treat you. 

How can we expect the best and the brightest to work in the U.S government, when we pay them so little? The starting salary at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta is $47,000 and the average salary is $72,000. Think this is our best and brightest fighting the epidemic?

If Americans truly want better representation in Congress, we should add a qualification or two. First, they should be able to afford to buy a home of their own and, second, they should be able to afford to live in it. Otherwise . . . well, we are living in the “otherwise.” Raise their salaries to $500,000 a year and “the squad” will be relegated to cleaning houses, not running the House.

There are so many how-comes, ifs, and whys, that it does make one wonder how come, and if, and why. So for you whiny miserable people who have decided to make life miserable and confusing for many of us, bravo! We may be confused, but it’s you who are miserable. 

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