Great America

Banzai Mother Zucker’s Kamikaze Launch: Raju Edition

CNN’s Jeff Zucker sends his hapless emissaries on another self-destructive mission.

Yes, once again Jeff “Mother” Zucker, the Divine Windbag, has sent his faithful automatons plunging into the fray.

The latest target is Arizona’s Republican U.S. senator, Martha McSally.

Waiting in ambush, and out to “bounce” the senator, was Manu Raju.

Raju’s chief claim to fame had been CNN’s forced retraction of his sensationally false “exclusive” report that Wikileaks documents flowed to Donald Trump’s presidential campaign in 2016 before they were made public. He was dead wrong.

So how did the once-proud network handle this embarrassment? Fire him? Reprimand him? Of course not! He was instead promoted to cover the Senate, and was given the opportunity to engage in a Kamikaze power-dive straight down on his target, the diminutive senator from Arizona.

But he’d forgotten one thing: Martha McSally is a fighter pilot. Worse for him, she’s an A-10 Warthog jock, the kind who likes a knife fight in a phone booth!

So the good senator pulls a Bobby Klingman maneuver. 

She looks over, flies up Raju’s tail and chops his ass off with the whirling prop known as the truth: “You’re a liberal hack!”

As proof that CNN will jump on anything at all to create a false offense and send liberal voters scurrying for the nearest safe space, they now have adopted the word “hack” as the ultimate insult. Move over racist, sexist, xenophobic . . .  you are nothing compared to a hackist!

But first, it’s important to know that McSally had nailed it. Even Webster’s defines hack as “working for hire especially with mediocre professional standards,” as in “a hack journalist.” Also, someone working “solely for mercenary reasons.” What honest journalist who is not mercenary would work for Jeff Zucker and his toxic liberal agenda?

Zucker, pictured below beside the man he is emulating, Captain Motoharu Okomura of the Imperial Japanese Navy and founder of the Kamikazes, was obviously incensed upon seeing a member of CNN’s tokubetsu kogektai (special attack unit) shot down by McSally so effortlessly.

Laura Cavanaugh/FilmMagic

Zucker, like Okomura before him, then ordered a mass attack and CNN spent the whole day attacking anything McSally and by extension, Trump.

Finally, CNN sent in its most revered warrior, SOBO-San, (Son of, Brother of) the much-maligned (and justly so) Fredo Cuomo.

His virulently biased commentary, given while masquerading as a CNN “anchorman” gave one the impression that he is part Max Headroom and part Jack Torrance, as his fixed blue eyes were locked into the teleprompter non-stop through his diatribe.

Ironically, the relentlessly self-righteous Cuomo goes on about “shameful words and deeds” but conveniently forgets his dust up last summer and his own shameful words and deeds.

Thus the hapless Fredo, in his ineptitude, delivered words that show the hypocrisy of his own deeds, and will forever be remembered as the only “Kamikaze” who ever shot himself down.

Banzai!