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The Buttigieg Dossier

ATTN: Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court (FISA)
PRIORITY: Highest confidentiality
FROM: U.S. Intelligence Community (THE COMMUNITY), the [redacted] party and [redacted] Bureau.
RE: Pete Buttigieg, (THE TARGET)

BACKGROUND

TARGET is mayor of South Bend, Indiana, and candidate for president of the United States. 

TARGET spent five years as a part-time intelligence officer, stationed near Chicago. In 2014 TARGET  was assigned to a desk job at Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan. TARGET never saw combat but some of his activities have come to the attention of THE COMMUNITY.  

SOURCE No. 1, [redacted], a national of [redacted] who has participated in covert operations with [redacted] and [redacted], observed TARGET meeting with [redacted], who allegedly has ties with the Taliban and the group [redacted]

SOURCE No. 2, an interpreter and national of [redacted], has sources that have heard rumors that TARGET attended a session of “dancing boys” at a tribal ceremony in [redacted] province near the village of [redacted]. SOURCE No. 2 cannot verify the account but believes it is credible.

This tribe, SOURCE No. 2 reports, has engaged in hostile operations against U.S. forces in Afghanistan and [redacted]. This allegation has been confirmed by [redacted], a former high-ranking intelligence officer in the [redacted]

SOURCE No. 3, a national of [redacted] with extensive field experience in [redacted], was apprised that TARGET has a husband named Chasten. This could expose TARGET to what is known in the trade as “honey trap” operations, similar to those conducted against [redacted]. SOURCE No. 3 remains unaware that forces hostile to the United States mounted such an operation against the TARGET. 

SOURCE No. 4, is a U.S. liaison to the intelligence services of [redacted], [redacted], and [redacted], and participated in OPERATION [redacted] in [redacted]. SOURCE No. 4 Reports that during a stay at a hotel in [redacted], TARGET requested a room where VICE PRESIDENT MIKE PENCE had stayed and hired seven male prostitutes to defecate in the double bed where the vice president and his wife had slept. SOURCE No. 4 has yet to present surveillance tapes, photos or other evidence confirming the episode, but THE COMMUNITY believes the account is credible. 

In addition, SOURCE No. 4 reports, TARGET was present at a hotel in [redacted], when foreign nationals from [redacted], [redacted] and [redacted], discussed matter pertinent to legislation before the U.S. CONGRESS. 

Articles about the TARGET in [redacted], and [redacted] newspapers did not proceed from any source within the U.S. Government. THE COMMUNITY nevertheless considers them acceptable for submission to the FISA court in relation to the TARGET. 

One operative of the [redacted] was on record that he could “smell” supporters of the TARGET, who shop at Target. Another operative was that he would “stop,” the [redacted] from becoming president. Because of this bias, THE COMMUNITY has chosen to exclude these operatives from any operations against the [redacted]. 

REQUEST FOR SURVEILLANCE

The TARGET has committed no crime, has no criminal record, and is fully qualified to run for president of the United States. Officers of THE COMMUNITY nevertheless believe that all accounts from SOURCES are credible enough to warrant continued government surveillance of  TARGET. 

The identities of those who conduct the surveillance must be kept secret. Otherwise, the national security of the United States will be put in jeopardy. 

If the identity of any SOURCE were to be revealed, that would also endanger national security and the SOURCES themselves. Therefore, THE COMMUNITY requests complete secrecy on the identities of all SOURCES. 

THE COMMUNITY hereby certifies that all material in this dossier has been verified to the best of our ability, that surveillance of TARGET is warranted, and that surveillance of the TARGET is in the best interests of the United States and the Democratic Process. 

Respectfully,

[redacted]
[redacted]
[redacted]
[redacted]

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About Lloyd Billingsley

Lloyd Billingsley is the author of Hollywood Party and other books including Bill of Writes and Barack ‘em Up: A Literary Investigation. His journalism has appeared in the Wall Street Journal, the Spectator (London) and many other publications. Billingsley serves as a policy fellow with the Independent Institute.

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