A Russia Hoax Rant via the Roman Republic

[fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_ rule_style=”default” rule_size=”” rule_ ]

[fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_ rule_style=”default” rule_size=”” rule_ ]

Yes, I’m aware Demosthenes was a Greek, but indulge me in a philippic.

If Russian collusion falls in the forest, will it hit Adam as he Schiffs in the woods all over President Trump?


If you thought otherwise, you must be a sane, moral, and normal American, though that’s no excuse for your ignorance of the way the Left works. True, in the Left’s world, you don’t exist, save as an obstacle to be bilked, bullied, and broken in their quest to destroy America’s free republic.

Having served the defunct Roman Republic as a Tribune of Plebs and as an avowed enema of tyrants, I can relate. And I can also relate some bad news: just as back in my day the patricians were, the Left-wing media today is so full of crap, if you gave them a collective enema they could be buried in a matchbox.

So gird your togas, because for these media wretches it’s time to [in Neil Diamond voice], “Turn on your gaslight” not only to cover their collective posteriors after hawking the Russia-gate lie, but to continue pimping the collectivist progressive agenda.

This is not to say the camera-ready cretins will have a bout of amnesia about their malfeasance, such as they did when failing to recall how they reported Obamacare would let you keep your doctor and lower health care costs. Uh, uh. The complicit media and their oily political colluders are going to keep hammering on collusion, obstruction—anything—to keep their gullible audiences swallowing their crap and calling it caviar.

You say you’d never allow these ink-stained urchins to feed you that garbage? Did you forget the part about “you don’t exist” in their world? They aren’t talking to you. They’re talking to each other and the egotistical sheep that nuzzle the teats of their disinformation for the misguided sense of superiority they suppose they acquire, even if it is at the expense of sanity. It’s called their audience. And you ain’t it. How could you be, if at any time you thought, hey, maybe the seditious, inconceivable to a sane mind, weaponized lie of Russia-gate would evoke in its propagators’ flinty hearts a scintilla of contrition? If you did, I’ve got a vomitorium in long haired Gaul I’d like to sell you.

These conspiracy peddling ass clowns know that history is full of examples of the times they’ve gotten away with it and expect history to repeat itself here. Remember the 1932-33 famine ravaged Ukraine “reported” as a worker’s paradise by Walter Duranty at the New York Times? Duranty kept his Pulitzer prize and his peers’ esteem for his career-boosting “leg work” even as he stepped over the starving, the dying and the dead to propagandize Soviet lies. “Democracy dies in darkness” or any time of day when comrade Stalin is systematically liquidating the kulaks for the greater good.

You thought the sacking of Rome sucked! (And it did.) But the Visigoths had nothing on these deceitful, egotistical stiffs who are cool with telling you to learn to code. As the new kulaks, the complicit media’s latest cynical joke’s on you: “Accountability journalism” is unaccountable.

Eschewing the maxim that “brevity is the soul of wit,” a 58-page report by the American Press Institute (API) titled “How to Make the Best of Journalism Better for Audiences” defines accountability journalism as “work that encompasses fact-checking, explanatory and investigative reporting, but more generally applies to the journalistic work of holding the powerful accountable.”

The API fails to clarify that when it mentions “powerful,” that appellation applies solely to Republicans who support harmful theories, like liberty. It decidedly does not apply to powerful left-wing loons, such as the public serpents in the “scandal free” Obama Administration. No, those people are considered purified by their fellow-traveling media cohorts given their common goals, such as imposing upon Americans an omnipotent government to run and ruin everyone’s lives.

Oh, and “powerful” doesn’t include the hypocritical, fake news click-a-holics who have ruined people with impunity.

What can be done to save the American free republic from the treason of the jerks? This sage, timeless wisdom of Poundium Everimus Assinator, The Elder, echoes down throughout the hours:

If we are to return to something resembling normal life, the American people deserve a full and complete accounting on all of this… They must also be shown that while many have played fast and loose with power and the truth and the law, there are consequences for such actions. The future happiness of our republic depends on it.

In this effort, don’t expect the “unaccountable” media to lift a finger, unless it’s to pick the scab and stop the healing. After all, “if it bleeds it leads”—even it’s the life’s blood of a republic going down the drain—hopefully during sweeps week.

Sursum autem populus!

Content created by the Center for American Greatness, Inc. is available without charge to any eligible news publisher that can provide a significant audience. For licensing opportunities for our original content, please contact licensing@centerforamericangreatness.com.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

About Poundium Everimus Assinator

The late Poundium Everimus Assinator, The Younger, served the defunct Roman Republic as a Tribune of the Plebs and Enema of Tyrants.

Support Free & Independent Journalism Your support helps protect our independence so that American Greatness can keep delivering top-quality, independent journalism that's free to everyone. Every contribution, however big or small, helps secure our future. If you can, please consider a recurring monthly donation.

Want news updates?

Sign up for our newsletter to stay up to date.

Comments are closed.