Baby It’s Woke Outside

I wish I could say (Don’t say it, it’s woke outside)
Those statues should stay (Don’t say it, it’s woke outside)
I really adore (There’s trouble in store)
Robert E. Lee (You’ll never say that on TV!)

I probably should just keep quiet (Beautiful, you should try it)
ANTIFA will be pounding my door (It better have a reinforced core)
I thought Apu was a riot (The Simpsons? Now I really don’t buy it)

I think PC is a bore (You’re the basket case I choose to deplore)
It’s a good bet (Don’t say it, we’re mad out there)
That Islam’s a threat (More cabs to be had out there)
I wish they would build (There’s jobs to be filled)

That border wall (You must not have a heart at all)
I don’t believe global warming (What about my 10-year warning?)
You couldn’t change your sex if you tried (There’s always things a surgeon could hide)

But I really can’t say . . . (Honey, I’ll freakout)
‘Cause baby it’s woke outside

I wish I could say (Don’t say it, it’s woke out there)
Merry Christmas some way (Sorry, it’s woke out there)
But we all know (White Christmas must go)
It could offend (You’re gonna break if you don’t bend)

The snowflakes would start crying (I kinda wish you were lying)
The marginalized few would roar (I warned you not to make the kids sore)
When I finished apologizing (Your tone will need analyzing )
They’d demand I apologize more (We’re only trying to even the score)

Facebook would can (They’ll dox you, it’s woke outside)
And Twitter would ban (They’ll block you, it’s woke outside)
Clearly it seems (Delete your Redskins memes)
I must conform (I really love this PC storm)

If I don’t they’ll start to get snarky (You’re colonized by patriarchy)
And say that I’m full of white pride (It hurts to have privilege denied)
So I really can’t say, (Sister, there’s no out)

‘Cause baby it’s woke outside

Wait, did you call me Baby?

Photo Credit: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios

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