How to Cross the Border Illegally (and Other Tips)

As you know, the gringos have set up a legal process for those seeking entry to the United States. You go to one of their embassies in your own country, apply for a visa, then wait your turn. Even if your record is clean, your documents legitimate, and you have some skill the yanquis need, this can take years. So avoid the legal process and disregard all U.S. laws and regulations. Despite the terrible president Donald Trump, current conditions are on your side.

The American Left and the entire Democratic Party are uncomfortable with the idea of a border. Like new Mexican president AMLO, they believe anybody in the world has a right to enter the United States, so make that work for you. The borderless crowd also seeks to abolish ICE, the federal Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency.

The best strategy is to claim that you are a refugee fleeing violence. This claim may be bogus but the Democrats and groups like Sin Fronteras will believe anything you say. Do not seek refuge in Costa Rica, Panama, Argentina, Brazil or any other country. Everybody knows the United States offers the best benefits.

Bring no documents and just make up some fake name. False identification violates U.S. law, but for you, it’s the right thing to do. Mexico will help you get to the border, which is easy to cross. If the migra does grab you, make your asylum claim and they will set up a hearing and let you go. Don’t bother to show up for the hearing and immediately head to California.

There, powerful Democrats such as Assembly Speaker Anthony Rendon believe that illegal crossers from Mexico are only entering their own country. Senate boss Kevin de León believes (and many Republicans agree with him) that illegals are more American than legitimate citizens born here. That’s why he broke state law to appoint a false-documented Mexican national to a state position.

Many others believe, as Mexican Minister of Education Jose Vasconcellos said, the Spanish-Indian mestizos are a raza cosmica, superior to all the others, and the stupid, inferior yanqui anglos are destined to fade away. Since you are destined to replace them, you should enjoy all the privileges.

In 1986, the voters passed a law making English the state’s official language but they don’t enforce it. So no need for you to learn the language of the inferior yanqui gringos, unless you want to go to school. Good news here, because the Democrats will give you preference for admission to state colleges, even though that also violates state law.

You didn’t go to high-school in California but the Democrats will break other rules to give you in-state tuition. They want you to have an edge on the native-born, legitimate Americans from other states. Likewise, getting on public assistance is not a problem.

In the United States, the welfare bureaucrats want more “customers” because that enables them to demand bigger budgets and higher salaries. The stupid yanqui taxpayers will take care of your needs, and the money you make working under the table you can send back to Mexico. That’s how Mexicans in the United States were able to send back $26.1 billion last year, the most ever. This is why Mexico supports the violation of U.S. immigration laws.

You can get a California driver’s license and this automatically signs you up to vote. Since 2015, more than a million illegals have joined the voter rolls, and as the federal government is aware, Mexican nationals have been voting in local, state, and federal elections for decades. That’s why the Democrats want you here, to help keep them in power.

If things get tough, the new law, Proposition 47, enables you to steal almost $1000 and it’s only like a traffic ticket. In most cases, la policia won’t do anything. Under Proposition 57 they can’t try juveniles as adults, even for murder, and the most you can get is prison until you are 25. This is very helpful for young gang members.

If you are incarcerated for any reason, the Democrats’ sanctuary law keeps la migra away from the jails. And even in court, the head of the state supreme court says the federal agents are “stalking” the illegals. Remember how the Democrats protected that Mexicano criminal Garcia Zarate who gunned down that gringa in broad daylight and walked free. So there’s practically no limit to what you can do in California, and there are other ways you can get there.

You can put your children in the hands of criminal smugglers then come later once their asylum claim is accepted. You might think entrusting your children to criminals is a bad thing, but the Obispo of Sacramento has never denounced it. So the Church doesn’t mind if you break U.S. law to enter the United States.

If you hurry, you may be able to help Kevin de León (not his real name) win election to the U.S. Senate in November. So best not take the legal route like los estúpidos waiting for legitimate visas in countries all over the world.

Photo credit: David McNew/Getty Images

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