The World is Your Oatmeal

When Lisa De Pasquale first informed me she was writing a new book about the Left, I was concerned for her mental health. Fortunately for all us but those on the Left, she’s kept her head; and, buoyed by her common sense, conservative principles and—something sorely lacking in her quarry—a sense of humor, Ms. De Pasquale has produced an enlightening satire of the Left’s benighted worldview: The Social Justice Warrior Handbook: A Practical Survival Guide for Snowflakes, Millennials, and Generation Z.

As is customary in satirical musings, there are two levels to plumb. First, there is the obvious mirth, wherein the hypocritical and the haughty are skewered and brought down to size. In focusing on SJWs, De Pasquale has found a plethora of overly self-esteeming poltroons ripe to be hoisted by their own petards. For example, in “Choosing Your Food Philosophy,” savor this tasty bite she takes out of culinary cultural warriors:

Nose to Tail

If you live in California or other progressive location, consider a food philosophy that incorporates locally-raised, organically-fed animals. Embrace the offal! Offal is the organs and entrails of meat products. You may receive some judgment from vegetarian friends, but remind them that using and respecting the entire animal is part of the Native American tradition, as well a necessity in other cultures. For example, many Native Americans boiled the full stomachs of buffalo for a tasty grass-fed stew. In modern society, this might include foie gras or pâté prepared by a bearded chef with a tattoo of a butchered pig diagram.

Scrumptious, no?

Our first course of amusement consumed, let us move to a few of the deeper truths beneath. De Pasquale’s satire of the SJWs. (No, I’m not going to reveal them all, but rather serve you and the cause of American Greatness by allowing you discern these deeper truths for yourself—after you buy her book.)

One: the Left believes politics isn’t just a part of life; the Left believes politics is life. This is why SJWs inject politics into every facet of human existence—because they believe it is already there. Unconvinced? Try sitting down and eating a hot dog (or offal) beneath the glare of a vegan wanting to link arms with you in solidarity with something or other at an NFL game. Or just try celebrating a blessed event:

Planning a Coworker’s Baby Shower

Coworker: She said she’s having a boy, so I thought we could decorate the conference room with blue balloons.

You: We actually don’t know the fetus’s gender, so we should use a color that doesn’t follow traditional gender roles.

Coworker: What color should we use?

You: Oatmeal.

Two: though normal folks disliking cranks bitching at them, SJWs egotistically persist because of their presumed status of enlightenment above and beyond that of the rest of us. Consequently, attempts to engage SJWs in a rational discourse prove impossible, because any disagreement with their ideas is viewed as an attack on their illusory sense of superiority. And, oh, do they not dig this.

Three: Elitist SJWs and their comrades in academia, the media, and corporate America have institutionalized their insanity. Never mind that pesky First Amendment with its recognition of our God-given human rights to free speech and the free exercise of religion. SJWs and their enablers seek to stifle any and all criticism as well as contrary ideas as “hateful,” “racist,” or “[fill in the blank] phobic.” Of course, this amounts to the very fascism and oppression the SJWs claim to be resisting, even as they happily foist these things upon the rest of us. Chillingly, as Ms. De Pasquale’s book reminds us despite its humor, the SJWs’ liberty eroding “political correctness” is predominantly enforced by the private sector.

In reading De Pasquale’s book, I was reminded of a saying my late father used to like, “Some people are only happy when they’re miserable.” SJWs are miserable people bent upon imposing an equality of misery upon the freest, most prosperous, and powerful nation in human history, SJWs and their Leftist cohorts reject “American Greatness” and prefer an American grayness. They won’t be content until the world is no longer your oyster but is, instead,  your oatmeal.

Friends, this is a cursory and by no means comprehensive review of the amusements and truths in De Pasquale’s The Social Justice Warrior Handbook. So snag it and read it.

While you can….


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