In her attempt to deny the free speech rights of a group called “Patriot Prayer,” Nancy Pelosi argued that the group should not be granted a permit to hold a prayer rally on public lands because you can’t “yell wolf in a crowded theater.” Below, American Greatness’ resident poet, Joe Long, memorializes the howling stupidity and mixed metaphors of this comment.
The Proverbs of Pelosi
You mustn’t cry “wolf” in a theater,
Nor shout “Ship ahoy!” in a blizzard.
You should learn CPR for food pois’ning,
And it’s rude to lift curtains on wizards.
The Bill of Rights makes it quite clear that
You can get an abortion – for free.
And your pistol can get a gay wedding –
At least, semi-automatically.
Our dear planet’s increasingly warmer,
And the Russians are under the bed,
And jihad is a peaceful endeavor,
And the President’s out of his head.
You mustn’t cry “wolf” in a theater;
You’d be likely to frighten the sheep –
And you should assume voters no brighter than
Their Senators.
NOW you may weep.
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