The Diversity Queen: A Poem

The Queen of Hearts, from Wonderland,
Climbed from her rabbit hole,
Strode into College Admissions
And assumed royal control.

“I object to objectivity!”
She regally declared.
“By my arbitrary standards
Applicants shall be compared.”

“And this shall be the way of it:
Brains shall mean less than skin.
We’ll evaluate our scholars
Based upon their melanin.”

“If your ancestors’ skins were white—
Their necks may have been red;
For this, you must be penalized!
Begone, varlets!” she said.

“If your genes came from Asia,
Well, for that, the penalty
Shall be fifty points deducted
From your final SAT!”

“So shall it be done, unto those
I deem not melanicious.”
Her courtiers actively affirmed
Her royal whims and wishes.

And that is how the deck was stacked,
As it was told to me.
Can no one trump the Queen of Hearts?
Soon, I suppose, we’ll see.


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