Ballad of the Unsuccessful Fugitive (Or ‘Never a Dulles Moment’)

Imran Awan, he used to be
Wasserman-Schultz’s employee,
And he did lots of secret stuff—
Alas! Not quite secret enough.

Imran Awan, I’m sad to say,
Said, “Ima gonna runaway,”
But at the airport ran into
Agent Ima Gunna Katchoo.

Imran Awan the runaway
Perhaps feared he’d be done away
With, like some files we’ll never see.
He’s safer now, in custody.

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