Deplorable NFL Can Find No Love in Hollywood

By | 2017-01-10T10:03:34+00:00 January 10th, 2017|
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Poor Roger Goodell. He tries so hard to be loved by the Left.

Poor Roger Goodell. After watching the final NFL wild card game of the weekend, the league honcho had reason to feel pretty upbeat as he pondered the playoffs next weekend. Then he found himself and his sport in the uncomfortable position of being tagged a Deplorable by a world-famous actress, Meryl Streep, in a widely quoted speech. Football was lumped in with another Deplorable “sport” in Trump’s America, mixed martial arts and the Ultimate Fighting Championship, which is apparently even lower than NASCAR on the Deplorable scale. Oh, the humanity!

What does a guy have to do to get respect from the coastal elites these days? Goodell has done his very best and then some to turn the NFL into the Kellogg Foundation with cleats, to no avail. I can almost hear him talking to himself:

Meryl, what about Pink October? Don’t I get credit for that? I defended Colin Kaepernick for kneeling during the National Anthem and didn’t reprimand the Rams players for their ‘hands up, don’t shoot’ demonstration. Hey, and I did reprimand the Dallas Cowboys for even asking to put a logo on their helmets in support of the Dallas Police Department.

Sorry, Roger. No matter what you do, no matter how you change the NFL rules to modify the behavior of players on the field or try make the game more palatable to women, there’s no changing the basics of football. Big, strong, testosterone fueled men running, jumping, hurling leather objects, tackling, hitting, cursing, posing, and celebrating their feats of strength (sometimes in sub zero temperatures) are the things that define the game you love.

Without us, all you’d have is football, mixed martial arts, and other low class entertainment for the deplorables!

Baseball, basketball, even hockey are played by big strong men, but those sports may have some potentially redeeming qualities in the eyes of our Leftist cultural overlords. Baseball players stand around a lot, looking as though they may be socially conscious. Perhaps they are contemplating breast cancer awareness?

Basketball players aren’t allowed to tackle anyone or anything except occasionally the rim of the basket. And hockey players? They are skating for crying out loud—graceful, smooth, even elegant at times. Yeah, they may get into the occasional fist fight, but hockey is so firmly rooted in Canadian culture that Meryl Streep and her friends probably give it a multicultural pass. Like Islam or Black Lives Matter. Also, Justin Trudeau.

No, Roger, football has no redeemable qualities for a leftist and thus it must be Trumpian, Deplorable, and oh so . . . (gasp!) American. Guys in pickup trucks have NFL logos on their bumpers, not Canucks, Cubs or Nets stickers. Face it, Roger. There’s nothing you can do, short of shutting down the NFL that will get the approval of the Right People who vacation in the Hamptons.

There is one thing you could do to make yourself and your fans feel better. Embrace your status as a Deplorable. Fire Kaepernick. Stop fining players for “excessive celebration.” Get rid of the mandatory pink socks and shoe laces. Seriously, why do you want Meryl’s love anyway? How many games has she attended? Does she have DirectTV Sunday Ticket? Heck no! Reach out to the ones who have actually made the NFL the wealthiest sports enterprise in the history of the world. Worry about your fans, Roger. Quit worrying about pleasing the politically correct lefties who, no matter what you do will never accept you or your sport.

Be brave, Roger. Tweet your offense to her on behalf of every NFL fan insulted by her. And invite Ronda Rousey to your box at the Super Bowl in solidarity.

About the Author:

Pamela Lange
Pamela Lange is a housewife and bookkeeper from Chagrin Falls, Ohio. A graduate of Wilson College, she has worked in development, marketing and public relations for several liberal arts colleges and for National Review Institute. She is active in local politics and is an amateur FaceBook provacateur.